Talking to parents about my future stability. Anyway to improve my questions/script?

So my grandpa (Mom's dad) passed away on Monday, Jan 5th, at 7:05 PM. I was very much in the middle of grandpa being in the hospital for a month. Mom doesn't have social media, so my aunt would message me, and I would either verbally tell Mom or have her come and read the message on social media from my aunt.

But closer to Grandpa's end, not just because of being in the middle of it—an old comment from my friend Grace (Dad's age) about her son Bryce's friend, who said to Grace that when Grace passes, Bryce and his family would look after him.

Both of these things—Bryce's friend's comment, as well as being in the middle of being aware of what was happening with Grandpa—were making me worried and also upset, either with anxiety or autism, about the lack of my family's plan for my own future stability, besides Luna, my sister, being my financial guardian..

I had been pushing for several years for my parents and me to have "the talk" about my future stability, but most of the time, until a couple of days before Grandpa's end, Mom finally agreed to have "the talk" about it in February.

So, in order to prepare for this talk about my future stability, I have created six questions and one statement (which I have no idea how to reword into a question). I have also prepared notes for six of my talking points, which are questions.

1.Where would I live?

-I'm worried about having to move because I have never moved in my life. This house is the only home I have ever known. The closest experience to that is my going to a disabled summer camp last summer. Also, I don't want to have to move because I'm used to being able to mostly get everywhere by either walking (in good weather) or by public transit, depending on where I'm going.

-Except for the Lifetime Readiness Program last summer, I never really lived in an apartment before (and that barely counted as an "apartment"). If I could find someone who would want to rent to me, it would probably be a very cheap one, so if there were neighbors, I might hear them fighting or having "bed fun times," or even the TV or music playing. That might be too noisy for me to handle while living in an apartment.

-I highly believe a group home might also not be in the cards or pictures for me. One reason is, like the apartment situation above, it might be too noisy for me to handle while living there. Another reason that might be a problem is that I might be a problem for the other residents in the building due to the fact that I'm a rule-follower.

-We all know that something I value in the summertime is swimming, and because of the ear tube in my ear, I can't go underwater. According to the information, I presume that neither apartments nor group homes would have an above-ground pool. They might have an in-ground pool, though. Neither would a community center that might have swimming pools. A group home might have a garden, though.

2.Would I need to get a paying job?

-If I did need to get a paying job, it might be tricky because I haven't really had a paying job since 2010, when I got laid off from Sears Catalogues delivery. Being paid in cash for walking our late former neighbors' dog doesn't count. We also know that employers look down on people who have long gaps in their resumes of not working.

-I don't think my volunteer experience (Bible Camp, whatever we called me cleaning up the church on that 2016 resume, Black Light Puppetry, ushering at church/Mom's plays) would help me get a real paying job if I needed to get a paying job.

3. Would we (Luna/I)  need to hire someone to be here for my physically needs? 

--As much as I get annoyed at some people touching my braid, people also recognize me for my braid like they do my red hair. I think of my braid as much a part of me as my special tooth. So I would need to either have someone come and do my hair or spend money I don't really have to go to a hairdresser every day to get my hair braided like I always have. (Need a counterpoint for Mom: "If you wear your hair short, you could comb it yourself." But I wouldn't be able to either use the hair towel Mom created for me or wear my most of the time full-summer hat that has a hole for a braid/ponytail. Or wear a baseball cap for that reason because I put my braid in the back hole of the baseball cap so it doesn't as easily fall off my head.) Not to mention I hate hair around my ears, so having a hairstyle like Mom's isn't really my thing.

-I would need someone to be here overnight for when I do the 24-hour pee collection for my specialist. I mean they would have to be here for longer than overnight, like for literally 24 hours.

-I would need someone to help me with medication assistance. That would involve helping me cut my one prescription into the halves I need to have in the afternoon. It also includes needing help to refill my prescriptions or making sure that I get the renewals done in time from the drug store..

-I know the basic idea of household cleaning. But I have basically done almost nothing regarding household cleaning except for using the dustpan and brush to clean up popcorn I spilled on the floor. I also know what to do if I have a spill—use towels in the house to soak it up. But for household cleaning, like toilet cleaning and some parts of doing laundry, I might need help with.

-I know I can sometimes stick to what I actually need when I'm at the store. But sometimes I overindulge in buying stuff I don't actually need. Would I need someone to make sure I stick to a budget and a shopping list? Also, could they help me figure out the best sales?

4. What about my specialist's appointment in Toronto? 

-According to the unspoken rules in this house, for a very good reason we all know—I can't be in Toronto by myself. The reason is the hypothetical risk of being in the city alone without additional support due to the nature of police officers. Not counting the police problem, I highly doubt that I would have a meltdown over a blocked sidewalk or a subway delay, as long as it doesn't delay me too long from wherever I am going. I still need to figure out some of the main streets in Toronto, or at least the ones I'm used to frequenting.

-This doesn't just involve the Toronto doctor appointments but also family doctor appointments as well. Because I might not be able to understand the doctor, I need someone in the room to answer the tough questions. They're also there to make any notes we might need. Based on my one hospital experience in June 2025, when the doctor neglected to call Mom while she was at home gathering stuff for me and talked to me directly, I got really overwhelmed due to never having to talk to a doctor myself before.

5. Do we have backup plans for alternative financial guardians besides Luna?  

I'm bringing this up for the following two reasons. For one thing, she's 7 years older than I am. So, like parents, she wouldn't be around forever. No one could be around forever. The other reason is that I don't want to potentially stress her out when she has long COVID. I'm not sure if she has any health problems related to the horse incident; I think mostly it's long COVID health problems.

6. Can we look into PH social program because we need back-up  "family" besides the church?

-The main reason I want to do this is that most of the church population is elderly. There are very few younger people, but not a lot, especially since most of my peers moved out of town ages ago. I mean, there's one exception of a peer who moved out and had to move back in with their family.

-As we discussed in the past, I would like to be near peers who might be close in age to me. That's a big problem because, as I already stated, most of my peers have moved out, or they're married, or they have children, if not all three.. 

Also, in addition, I could gain some living skills, like I did during the Lifetime Readiness program last summer, such as more cooking skills, depending on what day of the week they do cooking.

Final thing (For now)

  Dad, I know you don't like trust funds. I also know that you don't want my ODSP to be clawed back when something happens.  I really think you should consider exploring a Henson's Trust. 

So those are what I have so far. I'm not planning on having any additional questions at this moment, but if I do end up having more, will I be able to ask them?  If I think of more questions that might or might not come up, when would you guys say would be a good time to ask them? You might be busy when the question arises.

any suggestions on what I could add/improve to my talk?