Understanding Your Anxiety - The First Step?

For several years I've been very aware of my anxiety and have suffered much for it.  But I'm just not beginning to realize that my anxiety stems from my desire to help everyone (especially family members), to rescue them, to fix their problems.  Because if they're happy, I'm happy.

I have attached my own happiness to that of others.  I didn't used to be this way.  I do remember a time being happy all on my own.  For my own actions and deeds.  I don't know when it switched.  When I became a wife?  A mother?

Today I was driving around, obsessively thinking and worrying and making things up in my head, and I finally said to myself "if you didn't have anxiety about everyone else, what would you be thinking about?"  I would be thinking about work I'd like to do, and entrepreneurial things I've always dreamed about.  I would be thinking FOR ME.

I think that no one else is thinking about me and my concerns, problems or worries.  And they shouldn't.  I mean, why should they?  They have their own problems. So, why can't I let go of theirs? 

And to be honest, there are a couple of people that I'm very close to that I can't seem to let go of, and a couple of people I'm close to that their problems anger me more than give me anxiety.  Weird, huh?

Is knowledge the first step?  Acceptance the next?  I don't know.  Just my musings on this Christmas Eve.