perplexed
I spent the last few days travelling with my girlfriend. We had a really good time, we discussed some plans for the future and talked about how much we love each other.
But the future is still uncertain. I accepted the job I didn't really like because it seemed like the best option. I went to the city where my university is, which means I'm separated from my family and friends, and I continue to face separation from her.
I feel terrible. It seems like I often have to work overtime here, and things didn't go well on my first day here. Renting a place is also giving me a headache. My income is meagre, but I can't seem to find a better job. I'm devastated.
I know that no one else can offer me much advice either, and I'm at a loss about my future. I don't know what I want to do, what kind of work I want to do, or where I want to stay. But reality seems to be pushing me to make decisions. I really hope that someone can tell me that if I go into a certain job, I will definitely succeed in the future. However, no one can tell me that I can only remain dissatisfied with the status quo and not take the first step, because I'm afraid of failure.
Our plan is that I will start working and she will fight for a PhD opportunity near my city. However, she has not yet received a formal offer for her PhD, and I am also dissatisfied with the current situation. She has always preferred to end our long-distance relationship in the capital city, where she grew up, but I know that it will be difficult. The cost of living is high, and it is almost impossible for me to buy a house in the capital city on my own. She says she can live in her house, but I don't want that. I still hope to find other possibilities in other cities, but I don't know. I don't like my city, and I don't want to stay in my hometown.
I feel lonely and powerless. I'm afraid that she will abandon me one day because of my powerlessness. I desperately want to find a direction, but I can't.
@Megalodon123
First I want to just say I here you.
I have not done the long distance relationship thing. So all can say about that is, if you are talking and communicating keep doing that as much as you can. Make it a point call or text whatever you have time for. Talk about dailly things good or bad. Go to each other as often as possible.
Second, when I newly married, I had one of those jobs I didn't want. Don't do what I did through. I left at the end of my shift one morning and just never went back. Don't do that. No one would touch me after that. I ended up at a temp. agency making almost nothing.
The first assignment they sent me I was so welcoming. It was broken into two waves and they actually requested me to come back for the second wave.
When the work I had been there to do was finished they started teaching me to do the work they did. I ended up getting a job there for almost 20 years, until the company ended up closing our division. Now I am the manager of the department I started in at the new company that came in to service our region.
Once you find something that you are passionate about, Pursue that. You can and will succeed.
@selfdisciplinedLion4579
Thank you.
My first concern is that we plan to end the long-distance relationship in three years, and she also clearly wants to go to the capital. But I'm scared that I won't be able to meet the challenges, including marriage, after three years. I really hope that I can provide her with the life she wants without relying on her and her family, but I know that's almost impossible. For example, buying a house and car in the capital in just a few years is almost impossible. I also know that love cannot ignore the influence of material things. In particular, her family has already given her very good material security in the capital, but I hope that I can support myself and not live in her family's home. I hope that I can provide her with a good life on my own.
Another concern I have is that I still haven't found a job that I like, or rather, I still don't know what kind of job I like. A few months of internship have made me realise that I don't want to work in the industry (urban planning) that I studied for my undergraduate and master's degrees, but it is precisely this industry that offers me the most job opportunities. This industry is often associated with long hours and low pay, but it is still considered decent and stable by others. I want to break out of this mould, but I feel like a headless chicken, not knowing where to start.
With these two things piling up, I feel a very urgent need to find a direction, and I wish I could turn into Superman the next second. But I know that's impossible. I want to do something, but I can't calm down.
Anyway, I really appreciate your advice, and I hope I can find my own direction.
@Megalodon123
I hope you find something that allows you to stay true to who you are.
@selfdisciplinedLion4579 I hope so too.
@Megalodon123
Going to work every day makes me feel bad.
There was always a lot of work, so overtime was often required. I always want to get away from there, but when I go back to my place, I don't know what I can do to ease my anxiety and restlessness.
I really wanted to get away from this job and I wanted to do something else.
My girlfriend encouraged me by saying that her parents had changed jobs a few times when they were younger, and that it was acceptable to change jobs and be confused about careers, and that she would be there for me. But when I asked her if I could ask her parents for some advice, she said that her parents would be very reluctant to answer a similar question, and that maybe they too had just been ‘forced by life’ to change jobs.
I really didn't like that.
