ACT

@Judecat42

I'm very much a believer in take what helps and leave the rest. So if something doesn't work for you, then it's OK to reject it and try something else.

I've found Urge Surfing and Leaves on a Stream from ACT extremely useful. But I had to be in the right place for that. At first I just found them extremely annoying!

As for accepting negative feelings, I think it comes down to whether you believe feelings are something you can control or not. I think lots of people, including myself, are brought up to believe they are controllable eg "it's babyish to cry" or "don't be angry" or "conquer your fear". Now, however, I believe that feelings are biological processes that are neither good nor bad, they are just ways your body is trying to communicate with you. And that the more we try to deny them, the harder your body will try to communicate, in increasingly unpleasant ways. So, I see accepting my feelings as choosing to listen to what they are trying to tell me.

It's OK to be angry, it's our body recognising some injustice. It's what we chose to do with the anger that matters.

It's OK to be afraid, it's recognition that something has threatened us. Now we can decide whether it is truely a threat or actually safe to proceed.

It's OK to cry. Life is sad sometimes. Now we can chose if we want to ask for a bit of support or not.

For me, I totally found that accepting my feelings led to them diminishing in intensity and becoming less problematic, as my body found it no longer needed to scream at me (and everyone else!) to be heard.