Anxiety and online dating

So on and off for about six years I have tried online dating apps. I've gone on dates. Some fun and some not so fun.

However now that I have deleted the dating apps because it wasn't working for me and I was done being ghosted and stood up. I have really bad anxiety surrounding it.

Like the people that told me honestly that it wasn't going to work is fine, but the people that have just ghosted me or I talked to when I deleted the app is a whole different story.

I'm anxious because my mind is going into the what if.. mode, about the what could have been mode. Where I'm afraid that I'll meet them in real life and ... will happen. I think it also has something to do with my extreme fear of failure and not being good enough.

It makes me avoid doing things and if I'm going out it really wears me out, because I'm constanly worrying.

I'm also really bad at just letting things happen where I don't have any control over and also at letting go and just be.