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Anxious

User Profile: reservedVase8999
reservedVase8999 April 9th, 2025

I'm just so tired these days and I have anxiety including some anxiety based self destructive patterns like intrusive thoughts, feeling like a bad person or self sabotaging by binge watching which I don't know how to stop. I'm also really scared of losing people especially to death and my necrophobia (fear of death and dead bodies) makes it worse. I also feel really lonely. Despite initiating everything a lot of my closest Friends barely have time for me and I know I'm trying to be happy alone, but sometimes it just leads to feelings of isolation. Like I tried being with myself for 2 days I'm already feeling quite isolated. I know people say I'm not defined by bad thoughts and emotions, but if I'm not defined by my thoughts or emotions, then do I really even know who I am? Everything is so confusing and honestly I've been worse but I'm still really just lonely and quite anxious. I'm also doubting the good of humanity and people these days

2
User Profile: SeeWhyMe77
SeeWhyMe77 April 15th, 2025

@reservedVase8999 It sounds like you're carrying a very heavy load right now. You're feeling this deep exhaustion, and then on top of that, having to deal with anxiety that generates difficult patterns like intrusive thoughts, feeling like a bad person, and wanting to self-sabotage with binge-watching. It must be exhausting to feel trapped in those patterns and not know how to get out.


It's also completely understandable that you're experiencing this much fear of losing individuals, given your necrophobia making it that much more heightened. That death fear can cast a long shadow. And you're laying this on top of all that this feeling of isolation, even when you're reaching out to connect with your friends. It's hard when you're stretching and it doesn't feel like that connection is completely there.

That feeling of loneliness, even after just two days of solitude, kind of brings out how desperately you need human connection. It's a big question that you're asking yourself – if you're not the same person you were before when you're struggling with these difficult thoughts and emotions, then who are you? That kind of questioning can feel extremely baffling and disorienting. It looks like you're acknowledging that things have been worse, but that doesn't take away the real pain of feeling lonely and anxious right this minute. And it's no wonder you're starting to question the goodness of people and human nature when you're here either. Thanks so much for coming open and letting all of this out – there's a whole lot of vulnerability in getting it into words like this.
1 reply
User Profile: reservedVase8999
reservedVase8999 OP April 15th, 2025

Yes, that is true. Thank you for responding, understanding , acknowledging and trying to help me make sense of my thoughts and feelings. I am grateful for and really appreciate your kindness

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