Anxious
I'm just so tired these days and I have anxiety including some anxiety based self destructive patterns like intrusive thoughts, feeling like a bad person or self sabotaging by binge watching which I don't know how to stop. I'm also really scared of losing people especially to death and my necrophobia (fear of death and dead bodies) makes it worse. I also feel really lonely. Despite initiating everything a lot of my closest Friends barely have time for me and I know I'm trying to be happy alone, but sometimes it just leads to feelings of isolation. Like I tried being with myself for 2 days I'm already feeling quite isolated. I know people say I'm not defined by bad thoughts and emotions, but if I'm not defined by my thoughts or emotions, then do I really even know who I am? Everything is so confusing and honestly I've been worse but I'm still really just lonely and quite anxious. I'm also doubting the good of humanity and people these days
@reservedVase8999 It sounds like you're carrying a very heavy load right now. You're feeling this deep exhaustion, and then on top of that, having to deal with anxiety that generates difficult patterns like intrusive thoughts, feeling like a bad person, and wanting to self-sabotage with binge-watching. It must be exhausting to feel trapped in those patterns and not know how to get out.