Communicating
I can’t talk to most people and when I do it’s preplanned phases I get really uncomfortable when I do try also. I’m not sure how to fix this I was talking to this girl for 2 months and I really couldn’t communicate anything and I was scared I was going to mess something up so I was really awkward and detached physically (i liked her a lot though).I didn’t wanna be like this. She broke up with me yesterday and I don’t feel great I haven’t had much motivation to do anything this past two week really haven’t been the greatest. I’ve become a shell I don’t feel much of anything now except sadness, anger, and regret. To make it worse it’s my bday in two days and I got broken up with plus I can’t play my sports right now cause I’m injured so I feel pretty purposeless. I also deleted social media and have stopped talking to the friends I had which isn’t good but it makes me feel safe I don’t know why.
We’ll just wanted to get that off my chest I’ve been taking to myself in the notes app for a while so doing this should be better (it was in the third person also lol I just trying to hype myself up, worked a little I made myself download this app), looking for advice and opinions on my situation.
@GoldenGoose007
I'm sorry things didn't work out with your girlfriend. I understand that it has left you feeling sad and purpose less and regretting that you had done things differently.
It's great that you are self aware, such that you can see that you are angry and scared to mess things up. I think that will really help you, as first you need to understand something, before you can change it. It's also great that you are writing things down. It can really help with spotting patterns and letting go of things. I'm glad it's helped a little.
Is there any reason why you couldn't make either understanding yourself or practicing the person you would like to be, your purpose for a bit? For example, why are you scared to mess up? What can be done to change a fear? There's a lot of information out there, if you are interested. Make it a research project to find out everything about fear, say, and in the process, you might find the key for you.
Another option I did, was to do the listening courses and made it my purpose to help others. It's clichéd, but it is true, that in helping others, we can learn how to help ourselves.
But maybe that is all in the future. Right now you are grieving the loss of something that was important to you and that's OK. Someone once taught me to say "this feeling is valid and I'm going to experience it to the full ". It is OK to be sad, it is OK to rant. Its OK to wallow for a bit. By accepting our feelings, we allow them to pass.
Best wishes.