Dentist
Going to hospital is already nerve-wracking and adding the anxiety and guilt of not taking care of your teeth and possibly losing them and knowing that properly fixing them would cost so much money.
I've been too scared to go to a dentist for four years and it's only been getting worse. Today I finally went, but I did a couple wrong things and the feeling of humiliation doesn't go away from even through nobody cared. So I fled the hospital and I'm still at zero progress with my teeth. There is also no way to get an appointment online and talking in person is horrifying. I just want to eat food without pain :(
@yellowApple5389
How do you think, which of those is a proper self-care and which is not: going to a dentist or avoiding (or escaping) it?
I guess your previous experiences with dentists could not have been too pleasant.
But what would you say about reframing it a little bit?
For me the chair at the dentist's is a very comfortable place. You can sit or almost lie on it quite comfortably. With my head up I have less problems with breathing through my nose than usually. Taking deep, even breath making me almost like meditating. There is no time or space. Thinking about various things in my life. The light is warm and bright. Almost like sunbathing at the seaside. But, opposite to some beaches, it smells clean and sterile. Add a good chemistry between you and your dentist, who touches you like a healer - often with some strange devices - but not to hurt you, but to heal you, to let you get rid of your pain. And this feeling of relief when you close the door behind you. Worth the effort 😊
The hardest part is getting to dentist's chair. I am afraid of going to the hospital in general, but the feeling of disappointment and shame for doing a horrible job of cleaning my teeth. I know that some people get more incentived to do something when they're being teased/chastised for something, but I get a lot of guilt and all the little things drive my anxiety up. Waiting for your turn and trying to understand what to do with your body and how to not look weird and also trying to not miss the person that you're after. I hate when people talk to me while there are other people around and especially when they're talking about something I feel shameful about. The anxiety just bubbles inside of me until I know that I just can't handle it and have to leave. There is not really a way for me to both relax and be present and aware of what's happening around me. And if I try to relax and miss something (which I always do), then my anxiety will skyrocket again anyway... In these moments I really want to have somebody who can go with me and be a moral support, but sadly there is nobody.
@yellowApple5389
What I have written above was to encourage you, not to make you feel ashamed.
I understand that your struggling with some social anxiety may not be helpful.
@yellowApple5389
I empathize with you. Medical anxiety is real, and you're valid. I agree with Jace above, reframing may be beneficial to give a try. For example: "I'm so afraid of embarrassing myself at the dentist, but ultimately it does not matter if they judge me. The priority is being able to eat without pain."
Repeating reassuring mantras to yourself may sound cheesy, but its worth a shot in situations where the negative thoughts are overwhelming the whole experience.
You're valid!!