Documenting my progress
Hey, Im currently trying to overcome my depression and relationship anxiety. I really struggle with feeling secure and loved in relationships and I constantly try and reassurance seek because of my low self confidence. To do this everyday im gonna try and do something to make myself feel loved and im also going to follow a process to calm my rumination down.
Here's the process for self love and compassion
-Every morning with the situation im in talk to myself like im my own son.
Im gonna add more later but for now im starting small.
Here's the process to reduce rumination and anxiety
-Breathwork
-Making sense of the situation on pure logic
- Write why im gonna be okay even if something horrible happens
@TsingForest
Way to go. You're doing amazing by identifying the stress points and actively trying to improve. Cheers for that.
Im really grateful for your support. You remind me im not alone and things will be okay.
@TsingForest
I'm here by your side. 😊
@TsingForest
Hi,
It's amazing that you came up with a process to help yourself overcome anxiety and depression.
Every step that you take counts and you definitely got this.
Thank you so much for your support. I hope you get through your struggles as well.
Thank you so much for your support. I hope you get through your struggles as well.
I like crossing my arms and giving myself a cuddle. In the past i have curled up into a little ball and just felt my tummy move a little.
Some hide from their feelings rather than working through them. You’re brave being honest.
In the song air tonight by Phil Collins the man says he always expected his partner to cheat. If he had expected a good relationship he might have communicated his deepest feelings at a good time and she might have felt he trusted her and wanted to be close. It is possible that she might have been an unpleasant woman anyway but at least he would have given her the chance to be caring.
Yeah i get that song. I do wanna communicate my feelings of anxiety eith my partner but my councillor and I think that its best I not put that on her. She is already suffering with her mental health so I wouldn't want anything worse for her. I think I can do it I know it its getting better im getting better. I really apreciate your support. I will try to do the self cuddle thing it does sound oddly comforting. Thank you so much.
Day 1
Journal:
Hey even though you are overthinking its gonna be okay. Your overthinking is really difficult to handle and I understand. But they really do care about you your friends your girlfriend they all love you. The only thing you have to do is accept it. Things are gonna get better forest I love you. You gotta understand that your girlfriend went through so much just to get you. Why on earth would she want somebody else. Plus you made things right you made an agreement on communication good job. Now you just gotta prove that you can do it. You got this.
How im feeling: calm slightly worried
Day 2
Emotion expression - i feel like i ruin everything. I feel like i cant be what she needs no matter how hard i try. I just wanna be better but its so hard. I live in constant stress and I just wanna escape. I lied because I didnt wanna call with her and my ex. At first I tried to lie because I just didnt wanna cause drama. She called me out. I told her the truth. She was mad. I hate this so much I just want the pain to end the constant pain im feel like im such a *** burden. I dont know what to say.
How im feeling: hopeless
Being a parent to myself
Hey its gonna be okay donny I know that its a lot and we all make mistakes. You are human and you are going through a lot. Even though it may seem like you are a burden you are not. You make people laugh and you are the reason people have better days. Even if things go wrong you will always have yourself and thats all you need. You are important dont leave. I really love you even if nobody else does. Its okay everything is gonna be okay. You are gonna look back on this 10 years from now and realise how much it changed you for the better. Everything is gonna be okay.
Day 3
Today i had to leave the call and my girlfriend started crying. She said why do you always have to leave so early now and she was so sad. She also kept saying I dont love her and asked me if there is somebody else im seeing. Today I was just numb so I was just completely devoid of any emotion at all. It did feel kinda nice I was calm but I didnt want my girlfriend to think I dont care. I love her so much I feel so bad I love her.
Being a father to myself
Thats really tough forest you were feeling devoid of any emotions and called with your girlfriend. She thought that your void of emotions meant you didnt care. And you already gave your girlfriend the reassurance she needs but she is still sad and doesnt believe you. Its not your fault you had to go and its not your fault you are feeling nothing right now. I love you so much you did nothing wrong and things are gonna be okay.
