Fake scenarios
Hello! New here! I was diagnosed with anxiety and adhd as a 31 year old. How do people avoid from making up their own made up scenarios in their head? I feel like I always need to he ready when things happen. I worry about anything and everything! I think about future conversations that I might have with people and think about responses, even though the conversation never even happened! I can never seem to relax and just enjoy that moment because all these thoughts and worries are going through my mind. I don’t even know how someone could work on it. Any ideas?
@mgp929
I also have ADHD and anxiety It feels like the two go together .. I was diagnosed with ADHD late in life, I think I developed anxiety in response to the ADHD..anxiety about forgetting things, getting distracted, staying on track... It's a rough way to live but sometimes recognizing where it comes from helps to defang it.
Anyway, I spend A LOT of time in my head thinking through scenarios and imagining conversations. It's really bad in the car. The biggest thing I find that helps is music. In addition to the conversations and scenarios, I have a mental "song track" running through my head at all times..focusing on that pushes the other stuff into the background. Also, sometimes I will try to redirect the scenarios towards practical things - what I am going to do that day and in what order, things like that.
I also try to give myself some grace for the scenarios and conversations. Sometimes, that's how I process intense emotions. If the emotional tenor improves over time - you feel calmer when you think through a particular conversation or scenario - that means it's helping.
@carefulEast6708
Now knowing what anxiety is, I’ve had since the 7th grade. I remember telling my aunt as as adult, that when I was a kid I would experience this pain in my chest where it felt like my heart was just going to come out of my chest. She said you know that’s anxiety right? So years later, I finally got diagnosed. I thought everyone felt that.
I feel the same exact way about the car! My husband hates sitting traffic but I don’t mind sitting there and listening to music. I have had multiple out loud conversations to myself, just running through possible conversations that might or might not happen. Music has been something I’ve always been gravitated towards. I’m more of a beats person, don’t really listen to the lyrics. I can tap my fingers extremely fast perfectly on beat to a beat of the song. I’ve asked people to do it and they never can.
Thank you much for telling me so much to, I really appreciate it!
@mgp929
I don't mind waiting in lines and at traffic lights either..not so fond of traffic, esp heavy stop and go traffic!
Do you think this is an upside of so readily thinking about conversations and scenarios? Since our minds are always busy we don't get upset about things like waiting in line?
@mgp929
Good news, you are already working on it. recognizing it is the first step in any problem.
How many times have your worries or made-up response came true?
I used to do this all the time and seemed to always assume things would go badly or escalate I made up defensive answers ... it makes me seem more ready for disagreement in conversation. That tone brings out escalation that would not have happened if I did not assume it would go badly in my scenarios
Yet when I simply approach a topic without imagining worst outcome or what if's, I have had much more pleasant and easy responses. it really sucks the wind out of my ready to argue type feelings because I pictured a response that never happened. I also find when we practice fake scenes, we are not present in the real conversation that does happen and we miss a lot of context by over analyzing the situation.