Help to cope better with anxiety and panic attacks

Does anyone else dissociate as like I means bad to the point of having a panic attack I’ve been feeling so times not real or crazy and I genuinely get scared like I am scared of bright colors I get terrified of them I do have ptsd from drug use I’m sober for over a year now but it left an imprint on my nervous system and now I’m not like my old self now I panic over things I shouldn’t like old people rainbow colored stuff clowns even horror movies i genuinely get scared and feel a panic attack coming but also things that are stupid funny like not funny but other people find it funny like people acting dumb it scared me because when I was on the drug I was hearing stuff I felt insane I felt out of control I feel like I needed to be in a small room all alone even typing this is hard but I try to confront my fear head on but when I’m having a stressful week it’s hard I suddenly feel like I hear my name or stuff like that or you know the lamp stuff like ur not living ur life and it’s just u crazy I know that’s not me but sometimes I think of that and I get scared I start panicking I start overthinking and before working out helped me like I’d say to myself if I’m really crazy then I should be able to be on this stairmaster for 40+ minutes lolll but I’ve let myself go a lot too I’ve been in depression too for a bit but it’s mostly cause stuff triggers me like old people scare me sometimes if my pets look weird I get scared sometimes if I’m driving i suddenly dissociate and the cars feel like they are gliding and I get scared and snap back into I guess the present moment idk I want to deal with it better there are quite a few things that scare me when I panic last time I scared my boyfriend I was having a terrible panic attack I was shaking not stop my teeth were shaking and I was telling him I got laced I need to go to the hospital I in fact did not get laced and was just having a bad panic attack I sometimes feel guilty for being like this because I did it to myself I was a happy child way back then lol but yeah I want to learn to cope better and help myself and I’m new here lol 😊😗