Idk im anxious

And yet I don’t help myself whether if it’s going for a walk or something to keep myself busy. I guess I still have so much on my mind I did manage to go to the 2nd show case yesterday. But I was nervous idk why but I tried my best to help students I guess to where they needed to go. Some one ignored me I almost wanted to say hi but didn’t. I guess I also went with my mom too. We didn’t stick around for the whole thing but walked around dc. And went to one museum and mostly explored one floor there.

Well I know one instructors last today is today. Hopefully she will make it but if not well I guess that’s that. Shame I wanted to be her friend but I don’t seem to get along with females even though I’m a female and it’s the girls that ignore me at work which is quite strange. And I thought females should support other females but I guess that’s not the case. But I could still hold my toxic views on things which is why I’m toxic. Also being let go without any warning from my last job and there I worked at an all female workplace and they’re just as catty. But at least I don’t sense any antagonisms from them. But at the same time I see a lot of people come and go. Some leave on a good note some leave not on a good note.

Deep down I’m lonely and wish I had a person that understands but that’s not the reality is it. Especially the more older you get the more lonelier you get. I could also be insecure on a lot of things that I don’t have a social life and only have my mom. Even though she criticizes me a lot.