I don’t know.

I am tired, absolutely tired. Anxiety is exhausting me from head to toe and I can’t do anything about it right now. On Friday, I have a nail appointment…Anxiety. Saturday, hairdresser…Even more anxiety. Sunday night? I’ll get in the car with my family and go on vacation…I’m gonna go crazy from anxiety.

I’m tired. I can’t do anything simple because everything blocks me—I already know what will happen: anxiety before, even more anxiety at that moment and then even after!

I don’t have a therapist, yet, feels useless to just go to one right when I have to go on vacation, probably they don’t even have any spots left. I’ll just have to endure it—and that’s what’s harder.

A fifteen year old shouldn’t be going through this. I have to live my life, yet I can’t. I can’t even go out to eat with my family at a restaurant that I feel like I might vomit.

Nothing works. Breathing exercises don’t work. Butterfly hugs neither. I lost hope now, I’ll probably spend my whole life locked up in my own house because I can’t do simple things.

I don’t want to be prescribed medication. I’m scared. Everytime, it feels like the world is ending for me. And I wish I could do something about it, but I can’t. No one I try and talk to can help with this, they just tell me to “calm down”, but how? It’s impossible to calm down for me. I have the worst anxiety ever.