I don't know what to do
My new landlord thinks the guy I'm seeing is coming over too much. So she almost kicked me out the other day. We worked it out to where he doesn't come over unless it's Fridays. I get it is her house, but like I feel like I can't have a life. She can bring friends I don't mind, but she chooses not to. I'm still healing from a lot of things and now I feel forced to get out of my comfort zone when I know I'm not ready. The guy's dad keeps asking him when are we meeting me and everyone has trauma and stuff. But it's like people who don't see people with mental health, don't seem to understand. I feel like it is putting pressure on me and pushing me away. I've told the guy and he tries to explain it to them. But now I feel like I'm walking on egg shells where I live and I just want to find my own place even more now. I honestly don't know anymore. I've hardly been sleeping or eating. I don't even want to be in the house. I wouldn't mind sleeping in my car again and more. My birthday is next Friday and I just feel like I can't live my life. I had to grow up way to fast and now I can't celebrate anything. I'm in school and I'll be done in October. But now I just want to leave and work more to get a place. I'm terrified and trying not to cry at work or home. 😭😭😭😭
that is awful of her. Was it written down on the lease? If it is not in the lease, then you can bring whoever you wish as long as they don’t stay the night. See if there are housing legal team helping the general public. You can call your local service for that. you may also want to look into low income housing or room renting with company that gives our individual lease.
People like that don’t care about your mental state. Better to get out as soon as the lease is over. Hope everything works out for you!!
There is no lease. We both did meet her in person. That's when she said he can come over whenever. Then like a month after, he can come sometimes and not past 7:30 because she works at 5am which we can work with that. Now, it's like this. I haven't even been there 3 months. Everything for rental and housing is either expensive or waiting list. People care more for people who do crimes and have babies young, then the people who truly need the help. I just need the lottery or something. I probably am better off in my car. 😭💔
Keep your head. Nothing is forever. If you are not comfortable at home that is ok to feel that. Look for you something when you are ready and go by the guys house. Just to get some air and think a little. You got this!
@Caitlyn1993
In response to....I don't know what to do.....
It is understandable for your landlord to set rules as it's her house and she can't be blamed for doing so. Yet, there are risks and responsibilities to renting out property or taking on lodgers which she needs to bear in mind.
Home should be a refuge of peace and safety to relax, not to be hating every minute you are there.
If anything, your situation will be more stressful and damaging to your mental health because your home is actually going to inflame your troubles.
Get searching. You'll soon find another place to rent and your landlord may soon realise she could end up with a considerably worse tenant than yourself.
Another option may be to compromise with your very awkward landlord. Try to reassure her that you understand her very genuine concerns - and let her know that you appreciate it is her home and understand her worries.
You are entitled to your own life and privacy and this should be respected as well. However. If your landlord decides to set these strict rules, then accept you need to find somewhere else.
With regard to your relationship, if you genuinely feel you aren't ready to meet your partner's father, then don't until you are ready.
Arrange to spend more time with your partner, let the relationship progress and enjoy your time together. This will allow you to hopefully take the relationship further.
Your partner appears to be showing respect by trying to tell his father that you are not ready to meet him. This must be difficult because he only wants you to feel comfortable, yet at the same time knows his dad is curious to know who is son is dating because he cares.
As this appears to be a new friendship, it's important to get to know each other and spend time together.
Hopefully - in time - you'll feel more comfortable about meeting your partner's father.
It seems that people don't appreciate how much you are dealing with regarding your mental health. Everyone you mention seems to be protecting their own interests and expect you to conform to their requests....Hence this is why you are feeling so pressured.
Take a step back to evaluate the impact this is having on your mental health.
Counselling may help to discuss your mental health concerns, especially when it comes to dealing with all the pressure your are under.
You say that you still healing from a lot of things. Meaning from a mental health point of view, you still feel fragile.
Planning to leave school, changing job/working more hours may need some serious thinking. Staying in education, working your job/hours and managing for the time being will at least provide some stability.
Your mental health is similar to an open wound that is trying to heal. Any disturbance will re-inflame the injury and set back the healing process.
For you. All of this pressure and worry over how to change things only creates a disruption to further delay your healing.
Perhaps the most practical solution is to stay where you are for now, try making other arrangements when seeing your partner and carry on in school/education whilst you work things out.
It's only fair to accept there's more going on in your life than just dealing with a discruntled landlord.
What's really important for you - in the here and now - is to prioritise the well-being of yourself, especially your mental health.
For now, you may feel that you can't celebrate anything. However. Once you aim for recovery by working through your past issues, the healing will become deeper and give you more strength.
Hopefully, the pressure you feel from life and others will only be what you are willing to accept.