I’m new here and I need to rant

My name is katelyn and I’m 19 years old and in college. I got diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder when I was 17 years old so I I have always struggled with anxiety and depression, also ADD and possibly ADHD. I have been struggling a lot lately and it’s really hard to tell my mom even though we are so close after my dad died. I’m currently now a sophomore in college so I know it’s going to be hard with my classes but I just feel a lot dumber than most since I came from a poorer county. I’m taking chemistry right now and I just don’t understand anything and it makes my anxiety spike up a lot in class. It doesn’t help that I have testing anxiety too so I have accommodations for testing which makes me feel even more different than I already am. I feel like my depression is now coming back as well because I don’t get to see my mom as much as I want to because she lives 2 and half hours away from my college and I don’t have a car, I don’t know how to tell her that my depression is coming back because when I first said something in 8th grade about wanting to you know what and that I had depression she said it’s all in my head and I know she means well but she just understand because she never really had a lot of mental health problems when she was younger. I just don’t know what to do because I fell like it’s all starting to pile up on everything that’s going on and I don’t feel motivated to do anything but lay in the bed but sleep. I literally have to drag myself to class or to the dining hall just to eat, my mom has tell me to get out of bed and go get sun because if I don’t have a class than I won’t leave my bed even when hungry or anything. I don’t really have any friends on campus either because every time I make friends in classes we don’t see each other anymore after that so it sucks that even when I drag myself to social events I know no one there or have anyone to talk to so I end going back to room and shutting myself in.

thank you for listening to my rant!