Is there hope?
Hello all, wondering if anyone has overcame panic disorder? Been dealing with it for almost 15 years.. and i have my good days, i can go long periods of having 1 attack once a month, sometimes being in an anxious state persists for a few days then stops. Only once in my life have i dealt with panic this bad.. the past two and a half weeks i have been incredibly anxious. Having about 3 attacks a day and unable to relax my body.. i began taking my SSRIs again, which have improved the attack intensity and freuency a little bit but i am still struggling.. im feeling defeated, drained and depressed through my days... i lost 9 pounds in these 2 and a half weeks.. i can hardly eat.. im not resting well (i have an 8m old) last week i had the worst attack of my life and went to the ER.. my heart rate was 156 and thats not abnormal for me when i have an attack but it scares the living crap out of me.. they did and ekg and blood work.. i was medically cleared so, that was nice to know my heart wont just stop beating bc of how fast it is. I am currently seeing a therapist and we have a treatment plan in mind. I also seen my pcp and they want me to see a psychiatrist. So i will do that too... im trying so hard to change the relationship i have with my anxiety.. my thoughts are eating me alive... i feel like i experience some depersonalization and cognative fusion.. my thoughts consume me.. i dont know how to let them go and i dont know how to be okay with my physical symptoms... it just feels like im going insane.. im ready to just give up but i cant because i see my baby girl everyday and i want to be there for her and be the best mom i can be. I feel guilty that im going through this... i want to be strong for her and for myself.. please tell me this will pass and theres hope for me.. i feel like its never going to get better and i will never be happy again..
@Jmors8484
Hello!
I have to thank you for having the immense courage to share your story. Your story shows a level of strength that is truly remarkable, especially while caring for an 8m old. It makes all the sense in the world to feel defeated, drained and depressed when you're going through this for weeks on end. Then there's also the physical toll, the weight loss and inability to eat or rest, that must be such a heavy burden to carry on top of the panic itself.
I respect how incredibly hard you are trying. Going to the ER, restarting meds, seeing a therapist and making a psychiatric appointment all together is massive, very proactive steps. You are actively fighting for yourself and your daughter, even when it feels this impossible and this is the total opposite of giving up.
Hearing that your heart is healthy should be a strong piece of evidence to hold onto. The feeling of going insane is a very common yet terrifying part of sever anxiety and depersonalization, it is a symptom though, not a reality. You are not going insane, you are simply in a state of extreme and exhausting alarm, reasonably.
You are doing so inspirationally well by seeking professional support. This wave of stress is very brutal, but it will pass. There is hope. The very fact that you have had good days alongside long periods of relief in the past is proof. Proof that none of this is permanent. Be gentle with yourself, your baby girl is lucky to have a mother who fights this hard. I hope it all gets easier for you.
You are absoutely amazing, thank you so much for your support and showing me I am making strides and this is not permenant.. when im feeling weak its hard to find hope. You are are angels, truly ❤️