Lost

@JoJomojo123

I can relate a lot to avoiding something wanted. It creates a lot of internal conflict and confusion, so I can totally understand the lost feeling you are experiencing.

Avoidance is a very interesting phenomenon to me. Because it is self reinforcing. Normally we start avoiding something because it was once a good idea. At some point, something was problematic to us, so we avoided it. And we got the relief of not having to deal with it, or not having to experience unpleasant feelings. That relief can be very subconsciously rewarding. So the next time something similar happens, we automatically avoid it, even if we actually wanted it, because our bodies want that feeling of relief. So we end up in this strange situation where the more we want that thing, the more we end up avoiding it.

It's very difficult to overcome. I know, because I'm still working on it myself. But it can be done. I think it helps to recognise that this is something that was helpful. To recognise that, although it is not helpful anymore, it once was. Because this leads very nicely to the thought, "now I want to move on and do something else ". This helps to remove some of the internal battle and frustration, so it's easier to get on with learning a new habit for what we want now.

I hope that gives you some ideas. Good luck developing the relationships you want.