Mom gives me an anxiety

Hello, me watching my mother, I see her doing some weird things and I feel anxiety from it. For example is it normal for people cook in the kitchen without the light on? When she talks to herself like she's having a conversation with somebody and no one is there. I grew her do all kinds of weird things. I stay outside all day and night for a reason. I always afraid of what she would do next. My whole life I'm wondering what is wrong with her, and I never get the answer seriously, what does it mean?