Neverending Anxiety
Recently I have been stuck in a whirlwind of my own anxiety and emotions. It seems I find myself constantly running hundreds of different thoughts all at the same time. Which ultimately means I end up accomplishing absolutely nothing worthwhile.
I work a very emotionally demanding job and a caregiver in a nursing home. While I find great pride in my work, and have made lasting memories and relationships over my 7 years doing it, I'm ready to move on. I love caring for people, but quite frankly I've been jaded by the LTC corporations. I'm emotionally drained constantly from the atmosphere of the environment alone.
So I've decided to go back to college. Hoping to complete a sonography program over the next few years. Which leads to one of my biggest stressors, money! I paid out of pocket for the 2 classes I'm taking to ease myself in, and it was 3 thousand dollars ;(. My job pays decently but I'm the sole breadwinner and have 3 pets I obsessively feel the need to get checked out by the vet. And frankly, I'm somewhat of an impulse shopper particularly when I'm not doing well.
I know this is long and winded, I really just have been having such a hard time coping recently. I've felt on the verge of a panic attack so many times recently, and typically I'm pretty good at keeping it under control. Things just seem so tense and uncertain at this point in my life.
@haley0844
Hi, what a touching story. You sound so caring and dedicated. Elderly people are just kind of left out. It is fortunate that we have dedicated people like you to care for them. I understand how draining the work can be, emotionally and physically. With my own family, I have had to deal with LTC corporations and I understand what you are saying about them. Your plan to become a Sonographer is a great idea! I admire your determination; a plan well thought! I am curious, with your work schedule, do you ever have chance to chat with any of the listeners or go to any of the chat rooms? Perhaps they could help you with your thoughts. Sometimes our thoughts do get the best of us and it always good to have someone there to help us through. Your schedule sounds very busy. Good luck on all of your hard work!
Thank you. I guess you can say I've gotten too comfortable with my routine, but I've been hit with a realization that I'm left with little capacity to deal with my own emotions outside of my job. It's likely I will always do some form of caregiving because I truly believe it's one of my higher callings. I'm sorry for whatever nonsense you had to deal with. They are money hungry corporations that could not care less about those who pay an insane amount to live there, or the workers who give their all to their business.
I only get on here every so often, but it does help to just lay it all out and scream into the void. One of my biggest hopes for all the stress I'm likely to go through to get a degree is the ability to separate myself from my work more.
Thanks for listening