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haley0844
1 667 M Embraced 5
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts89 Forum posts21 Forum upvotes55 Current upvotes55 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceSeptember 18, 2018
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Everything Everywhere all at Once
General Support / by haley0844
Last post
 August 28th
...See more Has anyone else here in this lovely community watched the movie Everything Everywhere All At Once? Tonight was my 3rd time watching it. I've been dealing with a LOT emotionally. Feeling so down about my life and like I can't do enough. Something told me it was time to rewatch this movie. I cried the entire 2 and a half hours. Considering where my emotions have been over the past month or two, I am feeling renewed. Its an absurdly silly movie, but also deeply moving and reflective. Nothing matters. Anything could happen. Yet there's so much beauty in the here and now, we often are too caught up to notice. We spend so much time caught up in feelings of anxiety, guilt, shame, and disappointment. Although whatever we're going through will pass, life will march on, and there is ALWAYS joy if you're willing to feel it. Thankful I listened to my gut and watched it again. It truly is a wonderful movie. I'd love to hear if anyone else loves it as much as me here.
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School and financial stress
Anxiety Support / by haley0844
Last post
 August 24th
...See more My first semester back to school starts Monday. I started small, with only 2 classes, to hopefully ease myself back in. I'm worried I've forgotten everything after 8 years of not studying much of anything. I think I always circle back to thoughts of money more than anything. Yes I'm worried about not being capable of passing my classes and intended program, but I'm more worried about losing all the money I'm sinking into it. I pay all my bills alone, and work hard to do so. I'm cutting back hours for classes and I'm constantly wondering if I'm making the right decision. But I know I cannot do my job forever, it drains me and leaves me feeling as though I can never do enough. I want a career that gives me freedom to live a happier life. I'm just overwhelmed with the path its going to take to get there, and classes haven't even started. Any adult learners here? Can you tell me it works out? How did you cope with working, paying bills, and getting good grades? Any and all words of encouragement gratefully accepted.
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All the things
Anxiety Support / by haley0844
Last post
 August 20th
...See more Struggling with persistent thoughts of all the things I need to do. Everything. I always have this issue but I'm going back to school and my routine for the last 8 years is changing drastically. I want to be excited but there's a pit in my stomach. I'm worrying so much about failing or being unable to keep my head above the water. Sometimes I just wish we could put responsibilities on pause, for just a day or two. I worry myself into a hole about everything, my pets, my car, hard-core worry about finances, and of course the looming thought of myself or someone I love becoming deathly ill or seriously injured in some way. I feel bad for those closest to me who have to hear the absurd things I seriously worry about. It's odd because it's like I'm constantly split into two brains. One constantly whirring and stressing and running 10 different scenarios at once. The other recognizing how precious life is and how minor things are in the grand scheme. I wish the one who has an ounce of gratitude would be front and center. But usually I let the worry win and I feel miserable and then I'm even more upset with myself for not being able to enjoy myself. Going through a lot. Trying my best to keep a level head. As I'm sure you can tell, it's been hard.
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Stage fright? Displeasure with being perceived?
General Support / by haley0844
Last post
 August 22nd
...See more Recently I feel like I do not want to be perceived at all. I guess I've always been a somewhat private person, for the most part. I don't like to feel like I'm performing a task in front of an audience, I don't typically go out of my way to be overly social. Sometimes I feel bad about it, like I'm missing out on connection because I feel like I'm constantly being judged; though I know in my mind that I judge myself ten times harder than anyone around me. Today I really needed to mow my lawn. It's gotten tall with recent rain and very sunny days. I really should have done it sooner, but its been a heatwave and I work a lot of hours. Frankly I'm not a very good lawn keeper. I kinda think its okay to let nature do its nature thing to a certain extent. But I live next door to someone who keeps an immaculate lawn and garden and is constantly building new things and casually whipping up a porch over a weekend. Which means two things: one, i feel held up to a very high standard and like I'm failing my neighbor. And two, he is CONSTANTLY outside right next to me as I'm trying to mow. Today the its still very hot, everything was going okay at first. Towards the end my mower kept dying, and then he all of the sudden had his entire family outside too!!!! I was a sweaty, dirty mess. Were they minding their own business and not paying me much mind? Probably. Did I feel as though I was being scrutinized and judged? Yes, so I stopped in my tracks after it died again, a mere 5 to 10 minutes away from finishing up. And I went inside. I feel so terrible and beat myself up all the time. I don't want to be seen as lazy, incapable, or irresponsible. But I feel as though that's always what's coming across. Idk. Just getting my emotions out while they're still fresh
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Neverending Anxiety
Anxiety Support / by haley0844
Last post
 August 15th
...See more Recently I have been stuck in a whirlwind of my own anxiety and emotions. It seems I find myself constantly running hundreds of different thoughts all at the same time. Which ultimately means I end up accomplishing absolutely nothing worthwhile. I work a very emotionally demanding job and a caregiver in a nursing home. While I find great pride in my work, and have made lasting memories and relationships over my 7 years doing it, I'm ready to move on. I love caring for people, but quite frankly I've been jaded by the LTC corporations. I'm emotionally drained constantly from the atmosphere of the environment alone. So I've decided to go back to college. Hoping to complete a sonography program over the next few years. Which leads to one of my biggest stressors, money! I paid out of pocket for the 2 classes I'm taking to ease myself in, and it was 3 thousand dollars ;(. My job pays decently but I'm the sole breadwinner and have 3 pets I obsessively feel the need to get checked out by the vet. And frankly, I'm somewhat of an impulse shopper particularly when I'm not doing well. I know this is long and winded, I really just have been having such a hard time coping recently. I've felt on the verge of a panic attack so many times recently, and typically I'm pretty good at keeping it under control. Things just seem so tense and uncertain at this point in my life.
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