Scared of the people I love

I'm seb, 13, and I've suffered from anxiety all my life. I go to a youth zone in my town, and I'm quite popular among the staff there. My favourite staff member, Jess, has shown many signs to say that she's annoyed at me, I over thought that and started to think she hates me. I told my mate that I think Jess hates me, so she went and asked Jess. Jess then came up to me and asked why I'm telling people she hates me. I started crying. And so she took me in a room and asked why I tell people that. I told her that I didn't expect her to find out and that it felt like she hated me. I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD and autism so a lot of the time I do and say things without thinking before. since I have only recently been diagnosed, it's not yet on the system and so only the staff I trust know about it, Jess is not one of those. She explained that I'm one of her favourites and that she doesn't hate anyone, she said that I don't annoy her and she doesn't understand why i think I do. I then explained that I have anxiety and that I overthink a lot of things so even the slightest things upset me.

Now I'm embarrassed to talk to her or even to look her in the eye and she's the only reason I'm still alive, if it wasn't for her i would be gone by now. I'm scared to explain it to her but I wouldn't survive without her. Can someone please help