Scared to Death

I'm so scared to death and anxious and worried that I feel physically ill.

I am terrified of my neighbor. Every shadow I see outside, I think it is him or his wife.

I am terrified that I won't find a job when my current job ends.

I am terrified that I won't have the energy to keep up with my part time job, my volunteer job, looking for a new job, looking for a new apartment, and school if I am accepted.

I am terrified that my new job won't show that I am earning enough money for what a new apartment requires in income. This new job is f'd as far as salary. There are too many unpaid days off.

I am worried that I am making big mistakes with all of my choices.

I feel like my life is out of control.

I am feeding the feral cats in my apartment now because the leasing office said that is the only way I am allowed to feed them. But I don't trust the leasing office.

I can't think of an easy way out of all of this.

My only friend in England gave me a very strange, cold, quiet response when I wrote and told her what it happening in my life.

I am supposed to have jury duty tomorrow.

I feel like I can't hold it together.

Every minute I am awake I am a wreck.

I would ask for help, but I don't think there is anything anyone can do.

I am trying to take one step at a time, but there is just too much going on.