Should I Stay or Should I Go?
I'm in a very stressful situation with my relationship atm. I did something that hurt my boyfriend whom I'd dated about a year last month and it was traumatizing for him. At that time I had panic attack and I kinda acted out of my control though it's still unjustifiable and I have apologized and have seen a therapist since then.
He broke up with me and we ended up reconciling and though, we have been trying to rebuild things, he's still unsure about moving in together with me and continuing our relationship as he'll move to another city for a new job and initially we wanted to move in together for that before the breakup.
I told him I wanna fight for the connection but I wanted him to fight too and choose me like I choose him.
I'm willing to be patient until he's sure but we have only about one month before his job starts and we have felt more connected than the first week after we decided to get back together.
However, last night I just discovered that he crossed the boundaries he offered to set on his solo trip months ago in which he went out with a girl he met there and had been hiding it from me. He said he was about to tell me this this weekend during our relationship check-in and he took accountability and want to work on getting my trust back.
I'm conflicted whether I should keep this relationship going or not. The facts that he's still unsure and he has broken my trust are the things that I consider to walk away. On the other hand, see that he has the capability to communicate and being honest most of the time and work on things between us.
@silvermist02 This is what I will say right now. The fact that he was hiding a girl and then immediately wants to break up over a conflict feels like to me he wanted a valid reason to leave the relationship. It isn't your fault. He just doesn't want to feel like the bad guy for leaving first.
I have realized that if you have to question if that person likes you, he definitely does not. I have been in a relationship where the guy loved me, and I never ONCE questioned if he liked me or not.
You don't have to break it up right now, but I honestly think you should move on. Once you have broken up, you're in unstable territory... forever. Once someone has crossed that line to break up, the same thing is probably going to happen again whether it's you having a panic attack or him just wanting to break up for some reason.
In my honest opinion you should go. I've been on the receiving end of this to times and you should go for you. You know you deserve better.
