Trying to hang out
So, I've spent a few years isolating myself, and now I'm just desperate to get myself out there, but I also don't wanna come across as desperate, and it's making me so anxious and worried
I feel like interactions always end with "we should hang out some time" and it feels so open ended and vague
I told some friends, asked them when they might be available and told them what I said about "we should hang out sometime" being vague, and that I didn't wanna come across as pushy
I think I'm just being paranoid but what if I do come across as pushy and these people think I'm weird and don't wanna hang out? I'm such a nervous wreck and I know I'm just being paranoid, I've just been isolated so long and I want human connection I jsut don't know how. I'm trying to actively put myself out there but I feel like I'm being weird
@calmLunch9427
Hi,
First of all, you’re not desperate at all. Wanting connection after being isolated for a long time is completely natural as humans need connection, and there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.
Also, the fact that you’re even trying to put yourself out there is a really big step. That takes courage, especially when you’re feeling this anxious.
About coming across as pushy or weird, I get why that worries you. But most of the time, people aren’t judging us as harshly as we imagine. They’re usually caught up in their own thoughts, just like you are right now.
And honestly, following up with “when are you free?” isn’t pushy, it’s just clear. “We should hang out sometime” is vague, so you’re actually helping by being a bit more specific.
Try not to be too hard on yourself. You’re learning how to connect again, and that takes time. You’re already doing better than you think.
Thank you. I'm just trying my best, I'm just listening too much to my negative thoughts
I know once I can get out more, and stop sitting in my room all the time, it'll be great for me. It was last time I hung out with people
I'm also trying to seek therapy, but I'd have to walk there, cause of no transportation, and it's hot outside, so I guess I'm weighing whether I wanna put up with the heat walking there or just get it done
@calmLunch9427
You are absolutely right as getting out and spending time with people can make a huge difference.
About therapy, I get why you’re hesitating. Heat + walking can feel like a lot. But maybe you could think of it as something you’re doing for yourself, even if it’s uncomfortable for a bit. You don’t have to go all in immediately, maybe try it once and see how you feel after?
You’re already moving in the right direction and you’re doing more for yourself than you’re giving yourself credit for.
Thanks, I'm doing my best. I think I'm going to try to go to that therapy office, tho I do have to make sure I got good clean clothes and take a shower and all that too. If not today, likely tomorrow
@calmLunch9427
That’s a great step, wishing you the best with it.
