i'm stuck
i can't do anything alone, i relay on others, mostly on doing things for others, i can leave the situation i'm in but can't handle it either, i feel like a coward, i failed my nephews, i failed my bestfriend, i don't even care that i failed myself, i'm just so afraid of being judged as what i am that i can't do anything except ruining myself and others, i'm good with words but i dont commit, i run away from situations because i'm not capable to say no, i can't say no to people, but i'm still unable to please them
@greenSugar7803
Sorry you're going through this 🫂 it sounds really stressful.
It's coming off as though you're overwhelmed by the number of steps it would take to become more independent, and by the possible consequences of disappointing the people around you. As a recovering people pleaser myself, these are feelings I can relate a lot to. Here's some questions to ask yourself:
* What would it take for me to do difficult things alone? What resources or skills am I currently lacking, and is it possible to acquire them or to work around my deficits so I am less indebted to others? What steps would I need to take one-by-one to put this into action?
* What would I need to do to show the people who I feel I've let down that I can do better in the future? Do I need to explain to them, in-depth, that I am emotionally burnt out and apologize for that being the reason things turned out as they did? What actions can I take to make it up to them once I'm in a place to? Things don't have to be bad forever.
* Why do I not commit when I say I'll do something? Is it a matter of fear of rocking the boat, not knowing what steps to take to follow through, or do I just need to extend myself less and keep some things to myself until my bandwidth to help others improves?
* What is the worst scenario that will happen if I say no? Is it worse than the consequences of saying yes and being unable to fulfill the ask? If the people in my life are meant to be here, they need to understand that I'm just one person. I'm not a robot and I can't juggle everything.
Be gentle and patient to yourself. You aren't a coward for not knowing how to handle - what sounds like at least - multiple emotionally tense situations at once.
