too anxious to work
I got sent home from work on my second day. I had a very outward and uncontrollable panic attack, the job isn't even hard I just kept messing up and its on a production line and I was the first operator and was being trained so everyone was watching me. and my partner got me the job as it is with his company and i just felt like an embarrassment and then the panic attack only made it worse because it wasnt even THAT big of a deal until i made it one!!!!!
Working full time just makes me so anxious, I havent worked full time in a long time due to agoraphobia and anxiety, but I started going out a bit again and looking for part time work since moving in with my partner, then he managed to get me a job offer at his company but it was only for full time and i just dont know if i can do it and im only two days in!!!!! i feel like i am just letting people down all the time and i dont know why i even thought it would be okay it just all happened so quick from me giving him my CV to me starting the job.
I just couldnt shake it off i had to go out of the factory three times for air/to collect myself and every time i went back inside the same thint happened and i was just breaking down and this is exactly how i left my last job (except a few months in and it was only part time)
i just feel like i am never going to be capable of working and contributing anything and i am so sick and tired of feeling so useless and beingnsuch an anxious mess, even while medicated and in therapy
@vava1211
I wonder if the job would be willing to give you part time hours.
Also, I wonder if you are in a place (country) that might allow some accommodations to you, like taking frequent breaks, helping you find a quiet spot where you could gather yourself, or give you other support you think might help you be able to hang onto this job.
Here for you. It’s difficult for sure. You’re trying and that’s courageous.
Originally when my partner brought it up I said that I would prefer part time to get back in to work, but when he asked and sent through my CV they said they only had full time available :(
I did ask but unfortunately they are not really able to provide specific accomodations, as we are in a production line and each station needs to be working the whole time or it will cause massive delays.
I just feel guilty for accepting it I guess and silly for thinking I would be able to do it, I am going back in today and hoping today will be a much better day. The job itself isnt even a problem, its so simple its like putting together lego really and I enjoy things like that I just get so exhausted and so anxious that it just completely overwhelms me sometimes.
Thank you for your response!!! Sorry for the big rant I just felt completely defeated
I understand how you feel. I went through a similar situation recently with a new job. I was training at a blood bank and was registering a donor. That’s when I had a panic attack. It was so embarrassing that I resigned. This was the job that I wanted and felt like I messed it up. I fear that I may have another panic episode with another job so I decided to take a little break so that I can figure out why this happened. I worked as a caregiver for a total of 15 years and the stress probably caught up with me. I just started therapy so hopefully I can get some clarity.
Its so so frustrating, I am trying hard not too leave because I need the references and also because my partner got me the job i dont want it to look bad on him but I just dont know if i can do it, its just incredibly frustrating feeling like you cant do something when you know that it is fine and you are physically able to do it but your body is like "actually no, lets freak out!!!!"
I understand fully. I left a full time job last May cuz it triggered past trauma from domestic violence verbal abuse I thought I dealt with years ago. I went into severe PTSD and depression over the summer. I'm having a terrible time trying to go back to work. Financially I have to. I have applied to over 60 jobs since September and had about 12 interviews. My background is office management. I'm so filled with anxiety and uncertainty at these interviews I don't think I'm coming off well. I have another interview today. I'm just physically sick. I have to work full time but the thought of it being away from my house fills me with panic! You are not alone.