Do They Really Love Me?

Ok, so I have anxiety attacks. Like bad ones. Every time, I hold the door for a person and they don't say thank you, I have one. Every time my friend responds 5 minutes after, I have one. It's consuming me. And it hurts. Because of that I believe that people don't love me even though they tell me that they do. I had a boyfriend who I loved, and every single day he would say, "I love you" And I would say, "No you don't " And I didn't believe him or anyone else when they said I was wanted. I start to feel faint, I start crying, I start to lose my breathing, and then I freak out. We broke up, but we remained close friends until he told my friend that he was going to give me space so I could figure myself out. I wish that it doesn't hurt as much as it does. Sometimes I wish that I never met him, then maybe I wouldn't have the pressure to be beautiful when I'm not.