Going through a panic attack (as I type)

First off I can't even finish a sentence (even typed) without wanting to delete it and start again (this is sentence #7), I'm feeling like it's not a worthy issue to talk about (even though they all are worthy). I really want to harm myself to stop the panic attack because it calms me, amongst other things, yes I see a therapist and a rehab case worker weekly, but this hit me 30 min ago (it's currently after 19:00 at the time I write) triggering a massive worthless wave that has me pacing my apartment, talking to myself (which isn't always sunshine and lollipops) all becauseI'm going to ring my hospitals acute care team shortly (maybe I haven't decided to commit to that) or just "Life Line".

Sorry about the rambling, here's the trigger point that got me here. I've been asked by my governments housing department to seek more evidence in a few areas which is ok the one that has me in this state is asking my mother to write a letter to them providing certain evidence, as soon as I saw this I lost it and broke down because she doesn't believe anything is wrong with me other than my physical disability, we butt heads a lot and I find it extremely hard to even know how to ask her. This is compounded by knowing that she doesn't really acknowledge anything I have to say or the things I do/try to do, because in her eyes I'm incapiable of doing anything, yet I've lived on my own for a entire year as of tomorrow April Wednasday 13th, with some financial help from her (it was my birthday present, as it is again this year.

I feel like I'm not going to be able to complete (which I thought I had) this application for housing and thus feeling like everything I'm doing and have done this rental year is as worthless as I'm feeling right now.