Ergophobia - Anyone?
Ergophobia is the fear of work. There can be many causes of this, but I think mine stems from fear of rejection/failing and social anxiety. I'm 24 and recently graduated from college a few months ago, so naturally I'm in that process of looking for a job. To be honest I've never had any "real" jobs. They've all been side jobs, like babysitting or volunteer work. But now that I'm going on these interviews I can't help feeling anything but extreme dread. And every time I'm told I didn't get the job, I feel such relief. But recently I got a call that I got a job. I should be happy, but I feel nothing but panic. When I got the call I got nauseous, my hands got sweaty, and I felt like I could barely breathe. I'm just so terrified of failing and doing awful at this job. I'm afraid of getting fired. And I'm especially afraid of social part of that. Does anyone else have Ergophobia?
I wouldn't say I have a phobia over it but some of those things you said hit so close to home. Like, I have only been working at my first job for a couple weeks now but on Friday (I go back on Wednesday/tomorrow) I was told that the owner was going to have a "conversation" with me about "ground rules" (I have no idea what I could habe done wrong??) and I just kinda had a breakdown the whole way home, feeling too incompetent to even have a no skill job and because of this what's the point of anything. But I would also kinda be relieved if it came down to me losing it because it would take all that stress away, and every time a job opportunity rejected me/ignored me in the past I would be secretly relieved because having a job just sounds awful...
@Phthalo yes! I can totally relate to some of the stuff that you said. It's like whenever you get rejected from a job instead of being sad you feel relieved. I'm just so scared of failing at such a basic job. Also, sorry you had a breakdown on your way home from work, but I totally get it. Getting called into the office by the boss is one of my major fears. What did they even mean about "ground rules" anyways? I pray that everything works out for you.
@Phthalo Conversation with your boss may sound scary, but it may be nothing more than a bit of talk about the company and their policies. Although, at my first job I would react just as you and assume the worst. But, whatever the conversation is about, all you can do now is approach it and see how it goes. And as you've said, worst thing is that they'll fire you, which may not be so bad after all. Which is also not probable, as a new employee you won't get everything right at first, so even if you make mistakes - it won't get you fired or even "punished" in any way. It will just make your employer give you some tips and guidance.
The fear won't be gone now, but after the talk you may find out it wasn't all that bad. Next talks will be better and better, until finally all you dread is how boring those can be. ;-)
Take care!
Hi!
I'm 27 and I've worked in IT for over 6 years for 4 different companies. Good thing that I can say is - it gets better with time. Not so good - it never really goes away.
First month or two in a new place are always kind of scary, as you don't know yet what to expect, you don't really know anyone and have no idea about the job itself. But more you settle down the better it gets, you feel more safe and confident. You also learn that not all tasks are created equal, with some you can easily allow yourself to slack off a bit and others will demand all your attention. At the beginning you want to get yourself known from the best side and everything seems important and have to be done perfectly, which may drain yiu and cause fear out of the smallest mistakes that mayve noone ever noticed.
Still, if you can't seem to settle, job gets only more and more stressful and demanding, not offering anything in exchange or if you work in a toxic environment - it's time for a change. My first job after a few years become a burden and a reason my GAD flared up really bad. The plus side was that it finally made me seek professional help and solve the problem for a long run.
As for feeling not fit for the job and feeling that getting fired will make it better - I've been there and I'm here again now. Good thing is to share in someobe in the office you can trust or maybe even jokingly bring it up with others. They may tell you it was all the same for them at the start.
Take care!
I may expand a little on that, but for now I'm out of the character limit and time for a break from my work. ;-) Feel free to ask anything of course!
@ZittoZittoZitto Thanks so much for your kind words! It's nice to know that I'm not the only one. I'm also hoping that some of this anxiety will go away after about a month or two of working there. But like you said, I'm not so sure if it will ever go away.
@deerniicsae You're welcome. :-) Even if the anxiety may not ever go away completely, it can at least become more manageable.
Begginings are the worst (comparatively), but that's for close to everyone. We just get hit by that a little bit more, but ask around - I bet most answers from your coworkers will be that they were not the most relaxed bunch at first. ;-) That's quite a nice icebreaker by the way, helps to know people working with you better and make new friends. And people you work with are one of the most important things. As long as you can get a common ground with your colleagues every work is great. It gives a great peace of mind that you can lean on somebody and get help and give it back as you get better.
Also, ask for feedback regularily. Depending on where you work it may be from colleagues, boss, a mentor, HR or mix of those. You gain insight into what you do good and what you can do better, but most importantly - if you know exactly how you are seen professionally it's one less thing for anxiety to feed on. We fear what we not know and our imagination can take it to wildest places. Confronting this fear by asking straight about your performance can at worst mean one thing - you may get told off. If it is constructive - you know what to avoid and improve. If it is an angry rant and nothing more - you know the environment is toxic and it's time to leave.
Weird thing is that those jobs that started well and calm for me ended with either anxiety or burnout. One that started with panic ended on good terms with employer, not a lot of stress and only because the money wasn't the best. So I hope my current one, which at the present makes me want to run away, will also prove better with time. Or with the help of my psychiatrist. ;-)
You're not alone and you can make it. It's worth it, because when you do, you'll be able to find happines in your work.
@ZittoZittoZitto wow, this is such great advice. i had sort of a mini breakdown today & this helped so much. also sorry you're having a bit of panic at your current job. hopefully it will get better with time :))
@deerniicsae Glad I was able to help. :-) If you have any questions feel free to send me a message! Although keep in mind I'm in central Europe, so the time difference may make it more of email exchange than instant messaging. ;-)
And thanks for your kind words. :-)
I'm not even this close to graduating but I'm afraid of professional life, for the same reasons that you mentioned. I'm also a person that doesn't do good at organized, repetitive days as they make me feel trapped in an endless boring circle where I'll certainly experience a lot of moments triggering both my anxiety and depression. I'm a competitive person at heart but I never really do anything. I just do what I have to do to get it out of the to-do list and minimize the guilt. I imagine I won't be successful at work.
I think if you don't feel ready, you don't have to take the job. Maybe take a month to work on that fear. If it's really in a phobia level for you, go for a therapist and see if it can be cured or at least decreased. Once the month is over and you hopefully know better about your situation, you'll know what to do: Restart looking for jobs or take a longer pause to work on the phobia. Don't think about what people/family will think of you. Just embrace the fact that you have that fear and see what you can do to heal.
Good luck :)
@Raya501
@Raya501 exactly! sometimes I just feel like I'm doing all this to minimize the guilt that I feel. But idk, I feel like when you're doing a job that you really love you won't feel that intense panic that I'm feeling now. & it won't feel like so much like a job, but something that you actually love to do. ahh. hopefully we'll all have that one day. & I'm sure you'll be able to find a job with flexible hours so you won't feel so trapped. There are a lot of jobs out there where you can set your own hours. You just have to search for the right one. Good luck to you as well! :)
@deerniicsae I don't think I'll enjoy it that much even if I get a work that I really love. Maybe I'm just a negative person, I don't know. But let's hope for the better as long as we have hope within us.
Keep us updated if you can (and want) :D