Tokophobia fear of pregnancy and childbirth
My husband and I want a baby so bad. But every time we plan to try I panic. I’m afraid of the unknown and the idea of being in pain that is unbearable scares me to death. I had kidney stones last year and that was an extremely painful experience and if childbirth is like that I don’t want to experience it. It’s hard to want something so bad and feel so close to getting there and then the panic sets in. I have obsessed over this for years the constant racing thoughts of wanting a baby and the thoughts of how painful it will be. I’m at a loss and don’t know what to do anymore. I’m at my breaking point and almost ready to give up on my dream of having a family.
Hi @nelsonpk4
I'm really sorry that your desire to start a family is at odds with your fear of pregnancy and childbirth. There's nothing I can say that will be able to help ease the anxiety you have. I too am worried about the pain of pregnancy alone, let alone birth, but being with my partner who is wonderful and supportive and a great listener when it comes to my anxieties (all of them, no matter how silly and un-related to our life together). I'm slowly building confidence in myself and my body that I could do it, I could take part in this "miracle - nothing else like it - incredible human experience - etc" of starting a family together. It won't happen for at least a couple of years, but I'm actively challenging those distorted thoughts as they fly into my brain.
I'm wishing you all the best, always,
-Jo
Oh, my wife and I were also faced with such a situation. It was pretty hard, but we could solve it. My wife was scared not only of the birth process but also of the consequences that could touch her body. We decided to use the help of psychologists and to plan everything thoroughly. The doctor could help us to break this barrier and to get over this fear. Also, we could find a good clinic to make a mommy makeover after childbirth. If you are interested, you can check this procedure cost in Mexico. There is a pretty good choice of different clinics there. I wish you solve your issue!