A STUDENT LIFE

Hey you; whoever is reading this.

I didn't want to be here tonight, sitting in front of this screen typing words I -myself- am not even sure they do make sense together. I'm a 17 years old student, whose purpose is to study as hard as I can to make my parents proud. I'm a 17 years old student, who chose to study late at night when my friends are out partying. I'm that 17 years old student being treated like a rag by her so-called best friends. Those humans who once, made you laugh, but then made you realize that you were the -object- they laughed about. I'm that 17 years old student, half-dead, and whatever remains act alive.

I told myself: maybe studying would get you out of that darkness, out of that tunnel. Maybe people would start appreciating you because of how outstanding your work is, because of how passionate you are about that work that others may see as uninteresting. Maybe your parents would be proud of you, the girl who brought to that harsh world and still, tries to make her own way to happiness. I said maybe, just maybe, studying would help me forget about the world's roughness:

Maybe I'd forget about that girl who laughed at me once because I'm less pretty than she is.

About that boy who insulted me, because I'm not pretty enough to be respected (Yes such people do really exist)

About that group of friends who injured me, because I wasn't like them

About those nights I fell asleep, holding my pillow tight, wishing tomorrow wouldn't come

That my sorrows would end

That my pain would be seized

That happiness would find me. I've been looking for it for years, and I'm tired to do so.

I'm a 17 years old student. Whose unique purpose is to make her parents proud.

I lost my confidence. I lost faith in the world. I do believe that I'm useless. I do believe in those words I was told: You're nothing but a rag. I'm exhausted. I'm tired.

But I want to keep fighting.

I want to get that 4.0 GPA so that I can look at the mirror, after days of burning the midnight oil, weeks of intense studies; months of hard work, and years of sacrifices.

I want to look at the mirror and proudly say to myself: I did it.

Besides all the setbacks, I did it.

This is what I would like YOU to believe in. Life is full of ups and downs. You shall go through them with your head up high. Yes, you would suffer, Yes it would feel as if you're the only one doing this. Yes, you may fail once, maybe twice, or more. Maybe you would make mistakes, but the biggest mistake is not to make any.

No matter what it is that's holding your head up, helping you go through your downs, making your life meaningful: Do not lose it.

It's not about motivation. It's about discipline.

Just keep fighting. Screw what others think about you.

As long as YOU have the will to live...You can turn hell to heaven.

A.M.