Advice for managing social anxiety in a college setting specifically?
So, for context, I've struggled with social anxiety and at times agoraphobia (though the latter has never gotten as bad as the social anxiety) to the point where Ive had days that I can't talk to people without crying. It gets really bad sometimes and others i can somewhat struggle through it enough to ask a question or send an email, though i havent been able to do things like get a customer servie job (like most teens do) or go shopping by myself.
Despite all this, not going to college has never seemed like an option to me just because of how pressured I've been to go since I was little and the type of career I want. So when i started applying, for some reason, I had it in my head that if i could just move away maybe I could get out of my slump and reinvent myself blah blah blah other nonsense like that, and applied to mostly far away schools and am now enrolled in one several states away and am set to move in August. But now that it's getting closer, I realized what a stupid decision I made, and I can't pull out now because my (expensive and caused me and my mom a lot of trouble) enrollment deposit has been paid. And I'm extremely worried. My mom has told me she's going to help me deal with this stuff for years and that hasn't happened once. I try to go through resources online but that's a bit difficult to remember in the moment you know?
So does anyone here have specifically applicable tips for adulthood and college that might help me out here? Either for managing anxiety or circumnavigating anxiety-inducing situations. Or just general college tips. I really want to go but I know its going to be very challenging for me, and I want to be prepared the best I can.
@itsrory Hello! I am currently a college student who is VERY familiar with social anxiety (although I haven't had agoraphobia before). This past year was probably one of my worst and I can definitely relate to crying in front of people when feeling overwhelmed. But before I continue any further I want to let you know that most of my college expereince was manageable for me and even really enjoyable at times. So I don't want the knowledge that this past year being difficult for me discourage you with whats to come for you.
I can understand why you might feel nervous about college when you have struggled with working in customer service and going out shopping. But I don't think I can equate college life to either of those expereinces. When you think of college you shouldn't equate it to customer service, you can't equate it to what hollywood has portrayed college to be like, and you can't even really compare it to high school. How was high school for you?
I personally hated the social aspect of school growing up UNTIL I got to college. Elementary school is all about organized classroom activities with mandatory participation, middle school is too tight knit where we have different classes but it was the same people in all of our classes, high school was a popularity contest and we were almost required to join a group in order to get extracurriculars for our college applications. But college is different. The classes are too big for you to learn people's names (so they aren't going to bother learning yours). NOTHING is mandatory participation. So if you don't want to do something, you can just leave. And most importantly there are no extracurriculars.
For someone with social anxiety, a college campus is the easiest place to blend into the background and not be forced to step outside of my comfort zone. I walk to class with earbuds in and no one will bother talking to me. I sit in the back of the class and I don't worry about getting called on (not that professors even do that in large classes). I have my quiet study spots that gets me away from crowds when I'm waiting inbetween classes.
I've been a college student for a while. I earned my bachelors degree in 2018 and now I'm back in graduate school. If you want to talk about what it is about college that is making you anxious, I would love to keep talking. I know I don't go to the same campus as you but I can share my surprisingly quiet places to retreat to, the campus resources I've taken advantage of, the strategies I use when I get anxious or even the types of supplies I bring with me to campus to tackle my day.
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