Alcohol abuse due to social anxiety
I have social anxiety. When I’m out or around ppl in a social outing, I over drink bc I’m so uncomfortable. I don’t like talking to people. I hardly ever even know what to say. Awkward Moments of silent make me want to cringe. I’m always thinking of things that I can say or how I come off to others. To ease this, I drink. It definitely takes the anxiety away. I become this confident fun person instead of this tense anxiety brain filled stuck up weirdo. When I drink I embarrass myself so much so that I cringe when I think about me dancing at a party the next day or falling down and being sloppy drunk, etc. I’m tired of being the drunkest person at parties. It’s embarrassing. I want to forgive myself and move on, but intrusive thoughts are real. I feel like a loser. I feel disappointed in myself and embarrassed. I hate myself. Can anyone help me to get over this feeling? I can and will stop drinking. I would like to get over the feeling of embarrassment and move on.
@determinedDrum5773
It seems that using alcohol as an assist to coping with social anxiety brings more trouble for you. Alcohol is a distraction that makes you not facing social anxiety, but it does not take away the social anxiety from you. This way of coping with social occasions will make you temporarily feel better. But it also raises the difficulty the next time when you face it. Next time when you face a social occasion, you will want to use alcohol again, this is the downward spiral.
The good news is that you are aware of this spiral situation and want to stop it. Here are 2ways that you can try to deal with social anxiety:
1. Anxious Thinking: The thinking about " What if...". This thinking triggers the automatic thought that makes tragic non-exist scenarios about things you are worried about. For example, " What if I don't know what to say makes awkward moments of silence?". Try to practice telling which part of the thinking is fact and which part is imaginary. This can help you to stop automatic thoughts that scare you.
2. Inaccurate Thinking: This is a big category. Including thoughts like labeling, bad memories, avoidance, etc. Try to challenge your negative thought like "I am not a confident fun person" Find the facts that support this statement is not true. And find the new truth. Like "People still invite me to their party." That is one of the facts that prove the negative thinking was inaccurate.
I see the strength in you. You can make it!
Thank you for the help. I think that challenging my intrusive thoughts will really help. I will make a serious effort to stop. I know that’s why bc when I’m alone drinking wine, I’m not drunk. Just a few glasses. When I’m out like at a party, I’m shotting and anything else I can drink to feel comfortable. It took me a while to come to this conclusion. Thank you.
@determinedDrum5773
i have a similar experience, knowing I have to go somewhere I will constantly think if I'll get anxiety while I'm there. As soon as I get to a place I need a drink to make sure I don't bug out. This just puts off enevitable and then it's anxiety and hangover the next. I'm still piecing together what will work for me so I don't have much sound advice but I 100% get your point