A lifetime of anxiety, fear, and overthinking
Hey everyone. Getting tired of being anxious and afraid, so here goes nothing. I've always been a little different from the norm. It got me bullied from elementary school to high school. Growing up I had loving parents, who were busy putting food on my table, and a sister that was patient. As a shy person my self confidence was and is still lacking. I try not to overthink or live in the past, but my past haunts me. I always knew something was off about me, but I never knew what anxiety or depression was, let alone that I had it. The anxiety and depression for the past 7 years has gotten to the point where I have had to force myself to constantly breathe. When uncomfortable (which is often) I get sweaty, shortness of breath, thoughts flood into my head, and I just feel bad. I turned to some drugs for comfort, which didn't help more than they hurt. What do I do? I feel so bad for pushing away my friends and family. With this monkey on my back I can't do anything... let alone go to the supermarket with my family or eat out with friends. It's destroying me on the inside and I just want to hide. Just feels like everyone is giving me subtle hints on what to do and it also feels like they mock me at times. Not sure what to do or if maybe I'm just crazy. Theres so many more details I can go into, but I'm not sure what to expect from here. Just a guy looking some guidance or answers.
@JoahReed As much as I'd love to give you guidance or an answer, it's not that easy especially if you've been dealing with anxiety and depression for seven years. This is not something that can disappear like that, and that's okay. Perhaps the drugs aren't helping and you're starting to feel hopeless because it's been so long and it's hard for you to do daily tasks such as eat out with friends or go to the supermarket. And perhaps none of us can save you nor can we understand you completely, but your past and now don't make you any less worthy or functional. You are not less for having depression or anxiety; while these are uncomfortable and even inconvenient, I hope you can accept these emotions. I am not saying to do nothing about your depression or anxiety, but to at the very least accept yourself with these at this moment. I have depressiona and anxiety on and off, and sometimes I just hate it so much, I just feel like I'd be so much better without these, but at the same time I feel like this pain has made me sensible. I try to empathesize with others and one day maybe you will take something out of the depression and anxiety. Bad days or years does not mean a bad life, and life will have its ups and downs. You and I will be okay
@luxx454
Thanks a lot for listening and responding luxx. It really means a lot coming from someone who is going through the same issue. Very comforting to get support and reassurance in this community.