Am I a Bad Fish Owner?
I took care of a beta until he died recently, it was very sad for me. I made a lot of effort into making sure the tank size was right and the water quality was good, and he had things to swim around and was fed daily. We've only had betas up until this point but my mom decided to get a bunch of new fish for some reason, we asked a lot of questions at the pet store about how to care for them. I was anxious about making sure they had everything they needed and I repeatedly reminded my mom about things that we needed to get. When we got home we took a while setting up the tank and did everything the pet store said, but when I posted pictures online I got a ton of criticism about how we were caring for them, stuff the pet store never even told us. Like, how we're supposed to use sand instead of gravel, or how we need to put wood in the tank, or how we should return our fish.
I don't want to return them, I like them. But I'm starting to sweat and feel sick, thinking I'm a bad pet owner and they would be better off without me, I'm willing to make those changes but my mom's already spent a lot of money on this and I don't know when we'll be able to fix it. This is giving me so much anxiety because I want to be a good pet owner and I want to do what's best for them but maybe I was just fooling myself and I'm a really bad pet owner and I can't be trusted to care for them. I should have known these care tips already, before we got them, even though it wasn't my idea to get a bunch of different fish.
@sunsticks97 I don't think you're a bad fish owner. You know, people on the internet will criticize anything, really. For some reason people just love to be rude sometimes. For example, I've seen people criticize choke collars for dogs (not prongs, but where it gets tight if they pull too much, so it teaches them not to pull), but my dog absolutely needs one or he will choke himself pulling so much on walks and he will get out of anything else. A "bad pet owner" is one who deliberately does things that's bad for the pet, that harms it, or just doesn't care. You care, you did your best and you were given advice from someone and you did your best to follow it. That's not a bad pet owner. Especially if these fish are new to you, you don't have to be perfect right away, you can't know everything right away. Lots of people love to think their way is the best way and if you don't do it you're wrong, but that's generally not how things work. Sand in a tank is really only needed if you have a type of fish who burrows, gravel is fine in any other situation. And it's not like those fish can't live without sand, it just really boosts their quality of life, so if you have a fish like that and have gravel right now, it's okay if you need to take a little time to switch to sand. It's a learning experience. Wood also isn't necessary, it's just kind of a bonus for fish, or to soften the water in a more natural way. Yet another thing that your fish can wait for (if you even actually need it at all, depending on the fish). You sound like a great fish owner, you really wanted to do the best for your fish and it's clear that you're worried about their environment, you really care about them!
@TaranWanderer
Thank-you, that makes me feel a lot better. I was was worried that I was negligent and that they would die because of me (I know that sounds ridiculous since I just got them, but anxiety is a lil monster). I really do want the best for them, they're my little buddies. I've never taken care of this many fish before so I have a lot to learn. Thanks for giving me feedback!
