A month and a half ago I was in a severe car accident and soon after my relationship of 5years ended.

I'm feeling really low right now. My car rolled 2 and a half times landing on the roof from when a drunk driver ran a stop and came full speed at me.

I was still healing from a surgery I had a few months before due to a motorcycle accident I had about 2 years ago. My bone is cracked again and I have a boot and crutches. I get severe headaches and I am awaiting a response from a neurologist about my brain scans.

I really miss my ex but also know she is full of negativity for me. I'm in constant pain and I have isolated myself from everyone. I'm tired of people talking about how I was in another accident and laughing about it when I nearly died this time. My car is totalled and my seatbelt saved my life. Hell even with the seatbelt I'm lucky to be alive.

Sometimes I wish I had just died in the accident to avoid all this shit I'm dealing with now. I'm not suicidal or anything but I'm being honest.

I feel very alone. I feel like no one understands me. I feel like I'm a burden. I avoid driving at all costs or have to take 2 diazepams in order to be able to get behind the wheel. I drive slowly and that aggrivates other drivers which causes me to start to panic. I get flashbacks and I have nightmares. The medication helps with the nightmares and the lack of sleep but not always.

I miss my ex. We were together for the past 5 years and 2 years ago after my accident things started going downhill. She was emotionally abusive towards me and took advantage of how much I loved her. She knew I would always forgive her.

I know she is bad for me but she was also my best friend, someone I told everything to, someone who understood me and my lover at the same time. She drives me crazy but I miss her like mad.