Anxiety
Hi, I'm new to this, I normally dont post on this but I was feeling alone tonight. With anxiety it feels like no one understands and that your all alone in the battle. I'm also a Christian, but it's hard to feel that God is here when my emotions get the best of me, I've been struggling with dark thoughts since a traumatic event that included multiple panic attacks. I've become afraid of my own mind especially admits the coronavirus scare, it doesn't help at all. Please whomever reads this, just send up a prayer forme, thanks
Honestly I have not been feeling like myself at all lately. Im having a panic attack every few days and once I have one its like my entire will revolve around trying to not have one. I lay in bed all day and Im just like sad. I always have far of missing out and want to be around people and my friends. Im the kind of person that enjoyed dorms my freshman year because it meant more time to be around people. But lately, I just want to be alone. I want to be alone in my room in the dark because I dont see the point. I feel so trapped. I feel like Ive forgotten my personality. Its like Im afraid to freakin laugh. I want to get better and feel better, but its like something is stopping me. Im just sad all the time with no motivation. I dont do my schoolwork and I dont laugh at my friends jokes. I feel like right now Im just passing time.
Does anyone else have like a fear of their own body? Like not only in the way they look? I am horrified and scarred of the way I look but I also fear my own body in the way of I feel I have tumors growing in my nose and in my brain and that Im going blind and that I cant breath and sooooo many other things like that and it just causes me to have panic attacks where Im afraid of my own body...afraid to feel or touch it . A lot of times Im scared of any noise or function it makes or to see my heart beat or to hear my own breathing. It all scares me and can cause me to have a panic attack. I do have some real physical illnesses but at this point idk whats real and whats in my head but Im so scared of my own body and feel it is also decaying and idk if this has a name or how to fix it :( it gets to the point where for weeks I will barley be able to take care of myself cuz Im afraid to take showers or brush my teeth and change clothes cuz I dont want to see myself or feel myself.
@Trippieshroom to add to this ... I wake up in the middle of the night with panic attacks and idk what to do. I try so hard to get use to my body and love myself but it is far deeper than a surface level. Like its more then mot liking how I look...I feel deformed and that Im ROTTING ALIVE!!! I just cant get over this fear of my body and its turned into paranoia!! Where I think eveything I eat will rot in my stomach or medication will decay my brain or ointments will further the decay...I get scarred to work out because my body makes sounds and its so hard to deal with such fear and paranoia!!! I feel like my mind and mental are also decaying and that I have dementia Or something and its scary!!! Yet my therapist just tells me to go read or listen to music and breath like I DO BUT NOTHING HELPS!!!!😥
@nyny456
I read an article the other day about anchorites in the Middle Ages. (Basically, a woman who isolated herself from society in a small room attached to the church and her job was really to pray for others.)
In the article was a quote from one of the anchorite's books:
Christ did not say, ‘You shall not be perturbed, you shall not be troubled, you shall not be distressed, but he said, ‘You shall not be overcome. (A Revelation of Love by Julian of Norwich)
I have been taking this quote to heart lately, and try to remember it when I'm struggling. I hope it helps you, too.