Anxiety and depression and stress

Hi, I feel very anxious around people as if I start talking to myself in my mind about things that I like don't like etc. I keep shaking my leg while I'm trying to go to sleep. I don't like people controlling me specially my mother. I know it seems as if I'm an idiot saying that and somewhere I regert being that idiot but that is who I am and I just can't change it.

I'm fed up of being expected to do everything I should do. Ever since my childhood I was made to believe that I shouldn't want the things that I want instead I should want the things that are right. I was never allowed to make decisions. And as crazy as it sounds now being an almost 19-year old I feel like I've been thrown into a tub of life decisions and I can't handle it at all. I don't have anybody to ask. I'm alone.

I don't know if I'm right or wrong (which I mostly think I'm wrong because everybody tells me that )

But I don't wanna accept that fact. Because I might be wrong but that's me and if being happy mean being wrong then I wanna be the most wrong of all.

Thank you for reading if you feel that you have some advice for me please tell me .