Anxiety effecting my marriage
My husband has been working out of town M-F and I have three kids by myself during the week. He as complained that he doesn't want to talk to me on the phone in the evenings that much because all he hears is negativity. I'm stressed! Working full time, handling three children, and trying to get a house ready to sale by myself is running my batteries low. I am feeling very defeated. I miss our connection during the week. On the weekends, we get a long great. How can I be more positive and not take all my stress out on him?
@Charise23 You sound like you have a busy busy life right now so your stress is understood. Since you can't force him to talk to you, and I can actually agree with him on not wanting to hear negativity every night, you should try to focus on YOU - stress relief and self improvement. My boyfriend went through a phase of being very negative and we almost ended our relationship because of it. I know you don't have much time, so some little things that help me are short meditation videos in the morning. They have videos as short as 5 minutes available. If even that is too much to start, they offer night time meditation videos specifically for removing negative thoughts and I put this on when I get it bed. It puts me to sleep fast, helps me sleep better, and as far as I can tell, helps with the negativity. Another time you can do this is in a hot bath with lavendar oil. I'll run my lavendar bath and listen to my 10 minute meditation video... 10 minutes! You can also diffuse lavendar oil in your home as it helps calm anxiety. I don't know if you have time do work out, or if you already do, you might, I don't know, so I apologize, but what about 10 minutes of exercise every morning? You can do say, squats, jumping jacks, push ups, leg lifts, crunches, etc. Here's the video I sleep to if you were interested. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiPDV9L5qpQ
@Charise23
Hello and I am sorry to hear you have been so stressed, it is normal what you are going through it sounds like you have your hands full. I just celebrated 24 years of marriage this past weekend and my kids are grown now so I understand what you two are going through. Im sure he would rather be at home with you and his children, then working out of town. Just look at the blessings around you and be thankful because it goes quick. My kids are now in their 20's one is engaged and working as an RN in Manhattan and I miss her everyday. The other one is almost ready to leave. Everything you and your husband are doing are for them and that is the reward you will receive when they are flourishing in life. God Bless I will pray for you and your husband
@Charise23 Yikes, that is stressful. I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling with anxiety, big life changes, and a heavy workload with high expectations all at one time. That is so much work. I think it makes sense to be very stressed, and to feel that you need to discuss it with someone, and maybe get some affirmation. I feel unheard a lot by my spouse regarding a variety of issues. I have been speaking with a therapist to try to get grounded in a healthy point of view, get some validation for my feelings, and decide in a constructive way how to deal with some of these issues in my marriage. It has helped a lot. Negativity is really tough in a stressful situation, but so is feeling overburdened and unheard.
@Charise23
Hi, Charise :)
I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time with your husband at the moment. That must be really difficult for you.
From what you've told me in your post you already have a lot on your plate, and this can only be adding to your stress. Maybe you could try to talk to him about what's going on? Maybe if he understood what was going on he may be more understanding.
At the moment, i think you should focus on the good times that you have with eachother during the weekends, and this should help you to feel more positive overall.
I hope this helps :)
