Anxiety from religion?
Does anyone else have anxiety from religion? Ive grown up in a very religious evangelical environment (almost cult-like) and I honestly think thats where the vast majority of my anxiety has come from. Ex. the childhood fear of being left behind, the indoctrination that I was inherently wicked and etc, trying to repress my bisexuality since forever. I was literally having panic attacks in the bathroom at church. Ive since stopped going (which REALLY helped), and now consider myself agnostic-ish. Im working on undoing the damage, but I still find the dogma SO triggering. Im chronically ill and still have to live with my family, whom I love, but who are very devout and consider it disrespectful to disagree with the belief system. It makes it difficult for me to just live my own life in peace. Also I recently received a guilt trippy letter from someone at the church encouraging me to return, and my anxiety just skyrocketed. I literally felt sick to my stomach. Ive been reading about religious trauma and Im wondering if anyone else here has experienced this? What coping mechanisms have worked for you? Im not really bitter and angry towards it all, and believe in showing some level of respect for all religions, so its hard to find people to discuss it with who dont disrespect others beliefs. obviously Im aware of the damaging effects of religions, but Im very much a live and let live kind of person. - h 💕
I very much relate to your situation. I'm an adult and I'm only now realizing I've struggling with severe anxiety all my life. It was so normal for me, I thought it was just my personality. I'm happy to be practicing my own spirituality now, but I'm sad to find it's not as simple as "just leave the group and you're cured" like I was hoping, especially when my family keeps making me feel bad. I'm starting to think I'll have to stop apologizing so much for not seeing the world the way they see it and doing things the way they do, and spend all of that energy on finding what makes me happy instead. Easier said than done, but I'm willing to try. :)
@qtsushigirl yeah, its not great having your family believe youre failing and/or going to hell, and worse - trying to convert you or lure you back in. Essentially Im rebuilding my life and way of thinking. Positive affirmations have really helped me, actually! Ive basically been teaching myself that I am worthy of good things, I deserve to be happy, I deserve to live a life I am comfortable in, I am not broken, my heart is not deceitful, I am not wicked, etc. It probably sounds crazy to someone who hasnt grown up religious, but youre so indoctrinated and immersed in it from birth that at the time it all seems to make sense. Especially when youre basically taught not to trust your gut instincts, secular science, and even your own eyes sometimes...and things that dont add up are attributed to us just not being able to understand God. Ill admit, initially I was tempted to just stay and try to force myself to believe again to avoid the painful messiness of it all...but once youve escaped that mindset its virtually impossible to squeeze back into that box. But even though I have a long way to go, the relief of leaving has been so worth it. -h 💕
@qtsushigirl I dont wish the life crisis on anyone, but its so nice to talk to someone who understands!
