Anxiety has taken another unfortunate turn.

Today I had to give a presentation over zoom with a colleague to a number of employees. I was prepared for it, I felt calm and I hadn't really worried about it much at all. We began presenting and my first slide went pretty well. Onto my second I began to hear my voice shake, which I have experienced in the past. Then it got worse, and shortly after that I was quite literally fighting my body to speak and get through the senences. My whole body was convulsing and I'm sure it was visible on camera. I can't even imagine what I must have looked like. At a certain point no more words came out, I was trying to catch my breath on camera and simply could not and when embaressment hit the absolute maximum,l I cut the video and audio. It was about 2 full slides of obvious panic and sheer discomfot. Some important execs were a part of that meeting including my boss. After cutting the feed for about 10 seconds, I returned and pretended as if my zoom cut out for a moment, but I'm sure some of my colleages knew otherwise. It was a disaster, but I managed to get through the rest of the presentation like nothing happened. I had no choice. When it ended I collapsed into tears. I'm going to replay it over in my head for some time now.