Anxiety in Relationship
I have absolutely terrible anxiety in my relationship due to past events that happened somewhat early into it. I feel like I have a trauma bond, and I'm not sure how to handle it. I love this person more than anything, and can't picture my life without them, but I know for my own mental state I need to somehow get over everything that happened that broke trust in the relationship. I have been trying to move forward from these things for over a year now, and my mind continues to race everyday, almost replaying every scenario that happened, like I relive it almost every time I close my eyes. Does anyone have any advice for this? Anything would be appreciated.
Hi @affectionateHemlock2167
It sounds like you're have a difficult time getting past trust that was broken in your relationship. Trust is so important in a relationship, so when it's broken I understand how hard it is to stop the constant thoughts that go through your head.
It might even cause you to feel frustrated with yourself, because it seems like you are putting a time on how fast you should learn to trust your partner again?
Try not to be so hard on yourself. Regaining trust can be a long process.
Here on 7cups we don't give advice as it could do more harm than good, as you are the only one who can decide what's best for your situation. I do have some questions that you could think about though:
Is there anything you can think of that your partner can do to help you regain the trust back in them?
Is there something your partner has done in the past that has helped regain your trust , and if so could this help strengthen the trust if they were to do it again?
I wish you the very best 🙂
This thread was very helpful. I too am in a relationship where he broke some of my trust early on. I keep trying to minimize it saying it wasn’t so bad, it’s not like he cheated on me but he did lie in a pretty odd way. And they waited long enough to come clean about their lie that I felt stupid for not having put the two and two together sooner. He is making a conscious effort to gain that trust back and while I see it, it’s still incredibly difficult to not minimize it and hold onto the thought that I can’t trust this person with my feelings let alone my whole self. However, I am making small choices to grow from this. I am making myself extremely vulnerable to this person because I believe we can all be better from this experience. Trust is incredibly difficult to work through. I am on this journey with you! We can do it!
Hello @affectionateHemlock2167
Sometimes when we faced difficulties/trauma in past relationships, it can create anxiety and fear in current relationships. Trust is often a tough road and it's okay to take some time to learn how to gain that trust back and learning how to trust others again. Although we love the people we are with, it can be frustrating when those fears and anxieties come up, as they can often overpower the positive emotions we feel.
While we cannot give advice on 7 Cups, sometimes chatting with someone about it helps, so I would recommend putting out a request to be picked up by a listener. Having that question and response time as well as talking with another person 1-on-1 can be very beneficial!
I believe how you feel I'm going thru that now like she broke up with me days before are anniversary an it was unexpected like you need to keep yur self busy around friends do things that yur not use to doing dont do things you did with tbt person idk even yet fully I'm figuring out but at the same time it pops up in my head I cry sometimes but we want them happy
