Anxiety mixing up with insecurities...What should I do?
Hi,
I'm not sure if this is the right thread for this, first time using this website...Not sure if this counts in anxiety or not..If not please direct me to the right thread (been looking but couldn't see a specific one for this..)! I decided to look for help because recently things are getting out of hands for me. I've been struggling with Anxiety for a very long time, including social anxiety. So here's my issue right now...Please don't judge me.
Ever since I've been bullied in high school, around 5 years ago, I've been feeling like a worthless human being. It calmed down for a while but right now I'm really struggling with my insecurities and I'm getting really anxious for small things...I tend to overreact and it's destroying my relationship. My boyfriend knows about my issue, but asked that I start looking for help again. Since he feels like whatever he says to make me feel better just goes in one ear and comes out of the other right away...I know he's been trying hard to help me and I understand why it must be making him tired. But I don't want to loose my relationship because of my anxiety! Letting anxiety consume me isn't worth any of this.
I can't help but compare myself to other girls. I feel like each and every of them is prettier, more talented, funnier, more interesting, the list goes on...My boyfriend happens to have a lot of female friends, one in particular that is making me extremely anxious. Because I think she is everything I will never be able to be. He also draws a lot and whenever he draws a girl character, I freak out and start to think that THIS is the kind of person he finds attractive so that I should look this way...I just don't feel like I am good enough or worthy of any kind of love...All of it is making me just more and more anxious. Even if my boyfriend keep telling me that I shouldn't feel like the other girls are some kind of threat to me, that he thinks I'm beautiful and that he doesn't want me to change a single thing about myself...It just doesn't want to stay in my head. Like I just can't believe it even if I really want to!
What should I do? I even started to get panic attacks again because of this and the fact that I don't feel supported by my family...I fear that I'm going to loose who I am under all this pressure that I'm putting on my shoulders...
How can I stop these thoughts? That I'm not good enough...It's affecting me on so many parts of my life :(
@Mouse44 I am so sorry that you are going through all this. Sounds very depressing. You can message me anytime to chat (I am a verified listener) or any other listener that is online. We are here to compassionately listen to you. Have you been to a therapist about your anxiety?If anxiety is effecting your daily life a therapist can help :)
@CaringTeresa I used to see a therapist at school. But I don't go there anymore and seeing a therapist in my family is kind of seen as a bad thing...So I never told them and I am too afraid to tell them I want to see one again. I tried telling them but I believe that they don't see anxiety as a real issue, it's ''just stress'...
I really could use someone's help to help me figure out how to get out of this.
@Mouse44
Hello and Im sorry to hear that you are struggling with your anxiety. I would never judge you because who am I to judge. I suffer with anxiety myself. I am going to keep you are in my prayers that you will find happiness with yourself and in life.