Anxious Diary post (thanks for reading)
I've been anxious all day, and I really can't think of anything to do but post on 7 cups. I can't really pin point why I'm anxious at the moment. Earlier I got in a fight and ended a friendship with someone so that gave me anxiety. But before that I was just texting them trying to get my mind of off the anxiety I had before, then I got even more anxious and upset after we had a fight and just stopped texting. Once my dad came home from work I felt better because I could talk to him. Now everyone has gone to bed and I'm left in my head again. I know people talk about mindfulness and controlling what thoughts come in and out of your head but right now that just seems nearly impossible for me.
I ran into somethings I wrote to my ex two years ago and I think that's what sparked my anxiety right now. Just thinking about him and how crappy things got. I post about him in almost every thread. I think about him almost everyday, but now it's gotten to the point where whenever he texts me I just get anxiety. Someone I used to love has become someone I afraid of. I'm afraid to talk to him but I'm also afraid to lose him too... I feel so mentally lost and messed up. I've totally lost who I am as a person, my depression started about two years ago along with anxiety. I totally changed myself for someone else. And now I'm just a crazy emotional mess... I ran away from him and my friends until school starts again in a couple weeks. I just feel lonely and confused. I'm trying to rely on God. I know that He can help me heal and that I can lean on Him for support more than any person. But I just am afraid I'll never be healed from the past three years, from this anger, sadness and bitterness that have taken root in my heart...
Prayers would be appreciated. Thanks all.
Dear Lord
Please give @ManandaPanda the serenity to accept the things they cannot change
The courage to change the things they can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Amen
Thank you @DeborahUK :)
@ManandaPanda
Anxiety can be really horrible can't it, and that thought of your head bulging with stuff that you just can't seem to stop thinking about. But that prayer really helps me, because so much of the stuff we worry about is outside of our control. And by worrying about it, we just increase our anxiety.....that's all we can do, but it's so very pointless.
So sometimes we have to just accept a situation, hard though it is. You speak of this man as your ex......you sound accepting of that. That's half the battle. Now it's about moving on, the thing you can change. Try not to live your life in the past, but find the courage to look to the future, to form new friends and relationships, to have fun!
I really hope you can find some peace from this, and have a restful nights sleep.
@ManandaPanda will pray for God to bring you healing :D