Anxious about talking to my friends? Help?

So about two weeks ago my anxiety acted up out of nowhere. For some reason, it made me so terrified of my friends that I distanced myself from them for that entire week (barely spoke to them and if I did, I would simply nod or shake my head as an answer). Even though they had established that they didn't hate me and they weren't plotting against me, I was still scared of them, and it got to a point where the week after that, I just skipped school altogether. I also shut my phone off cause I would freak out when they texted, as well as deactivated all my social media accounts. When I was finally calm enough, the first thing I did was to try and text them. It was hard since my hands wouldn't stop trembling, and it took me a long, long time before I finally pressed send. Now these friends of mine were very empathetic and patient so I don't understand why it is that I still feel afraid even until now. I've managed to get somewhat comfortable communicating with them via text (though receiving texts from them still make me nervous and I have to put my phone away and calm myself before I am able to reply). Seeing them in real life is another matter. I met up with one of them, cause I thought it might help. I was wrong. I couldn't breathe. I was having hot flashes, tremors, and I had to sit in the bathroom for a long time while my friend stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. And in all honestly, I feel like was to be blamed. I felt so awful for being like this. I felt like I no longer belonged in our group, that I no longer deserved to be there with them. The next day I had to work on an event for a school group project I had with them. I was so close to backing out and not showing up but I really did not want to miss out so I turned to alcohol. I went to our meeting place with wine stored in my plastic bottle and would take a swig whenever I would feel my anxiety acting up. I got drunk, eased up, and was able to talk/laugh/joke around with them like I normally would (prior to my anxiety episode). But now the alcohol's worn off, my symptoms are back, and I've shut off my phone once again. I really don't want to keep ignoring them but the anxiety I get when I'm around them is really bad. Obviously, getting myself drunk again for school isn't an option. Any advice on how I can start talking to them again and ignore the stupid thoughts and worries that go through my head?