A word about "Success"....

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening everyone, I hope you’re having/had a lovely day when you’re reading this.
I have been having a lot of thoughts recently, well, I’ve been having these thoughts beliefs for a very long time now, but after some recent events which I’m not going to disclose, I’ve had an urge to share them. This is purely my opinion, but I’ve felt a need to share it lately.

First of all, I want to put a really big, chunky TRIGGER WARNING. I shall be talking about a lot of sensitive subjects, which I’d rather not list(I think that’s triggering in of itself sometimes). I would like to personally ask you that if you’re having a tough day today, or if you’re doing through a tough period in your life, please give this post a miss. You can always come back at a later date to read through this. Thank you for reading so far though, it is still very appreciated, but the last thing I want to do is make your bad day worse. If you’re leaving, big big big hugs, and I hope you have a lovely day!
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NO SERIOUSLY – TRIGGER WARNING.
Seriously, this is going to be dark.

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Sorry for the big warning, but I just wanted to be super super sure. So, what I want to talk about today is the concept of success. It is something that...I have a bit of a controversial opinion on, and I believe it is something a lot of people struggle with. So I would like to share my thoughts with everyone. While I hold these beliefs very very strongly, I am not going to say that these are absolute facts. So from this point on, this is my opinion, laid out.

First of all I want to say one strange thing. I, do not believe in “success”. There is no such thing as a “Successful person” in my opinion. There are achievements sure, there are defiantly things you can achieve, but you can never, ever be “successful”. No matter what you do, no matter what “heights” you read, in my eyes, you’ll never be “successful”. I don’t believe there is a single person on earth that I would consider successful, I think it is an impossibility, and attempting to reach that point is, well, a lost race from the start.

I want to elaborate though. I can assure you I’ve given this a LOT of thought, and I want to explain myself completely. First of all, I believe that people measure success in a lot of different ways, but they often follow into these categories.

MONEY – LOVE – FREEDOM – EXPERIENCE – GOALS.

I am going to go through all five, and explain my thought process.

MONEY
I come from a poor background, but I am currently fairly comfortable, so this honestly hits me hard the most. I’ve always believed, for a long time, that money is the cause and solution of pretty much every single problem, but as I grow older, I’ve heavily changed my stance on that.
Now don’t misunderstand me. Money in today’s society, is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL. To a certain point, everyone’s goal is to make money. We need it to survive in the society we’ve built. However, once you reach a certain point of comfort, I believe at that point it becomes meaningless.

First of all two things. After you have your basic needs met to a degree where you don’t have to fight and worry about them(So, an income where you don’t have to worry about weather you’re going to have food on your plate and a roof over your head), I believe then you start to splurge in luxuries. Now I don’t believe this is a wrong thing to do, don’t me wrong, please splurge to your heart’s content, but I want you to realize something.
Once you have your basic needs met, and you start splurging in luxuries, at that point, the roof is blown off and the sky is limit. There is no, reasonable limit to how much you can spend in luxuries. Sure, you might set your own limits(and that’s perfectly ok and VERY healthy, please do in fact!), but you come to a point that money is an endless hill to climb.
A lot of people who focus a lot on hoarding money, do it with a just cause in mind – to make sure not only they, but their loved ones can live comfortably with very little worries. And while this is a noble cause indeed, it is a bit of an illusion.
For there are two things here. Money isn’t really worth anything unless you actually spend it. If I have say, a 1000 euros, and I never spend it until the day I die, then that 1000 euros, to me, was essentially, worthless. Yes, I can leave that money to my loved ones, but what if they do the same? They hoard that 1000 euros until THEY day, maybe they manage even to turn it into 10,000, but, having the same mentality as the original person, they hoard it, not spend it, making it, essentially, worthless to them as well. You can slowly build a family fortune like this, by the generation over and over, but I want you to zoom out a bit.
You have a person who has dedicated their entire lives to hoarding wealth to an extreme degree. Their entire life has been dictated by how much money they can make, and trying to maximize it as much as they can. This, in my eyes, is a completely wasted life. Chasing money blindly, for a just cause, yes, but to the degree that, to try and build a life as comfortable as possible, you’ve spent a majority of your life doing it. It is...pointless. So to end my money rant, a rich person, no matter how rich, is not successful in anyway. They are comfortable, sure. But Successful, I would say no.

LOVE

This is a very easy concept for me to explain, but this is where my thoughts are going to turn a bit dark. I’ve already gave a big trigger warning, but I’m throwing a small one here as well. Trigger warning.
So, a lot of people say that, as long as they are with their loved ones, they are perfectly happy. But, the opposite view of that reasoning is, when they are NOT with their loved ones, they are...depressed and lost?
I see and I know a lot of people who would be completely lost without certain people in their lives, be it your parents, your friends, your SO, this isn’t just about romantic love, but all love, it could even be people on this very website. I want to say a very hurtful, but very real thing. That person you might be thinking of, that person that you can absolutely not do without, there is a chance that they might leave your life. It could be anything, a very heated argument, a sudden change of lifestyle, moving to another country, or the worst of the worst – a sudden unexpected death. It absolutely happens.
So I want to ask this – what happens if these people whom you cannot absolutely do without, suddenly just vanish? Is your life suddenly meaningless without them? Will you try to replace them with someone else? What is your strategy?.
My argument is this – our happiness should never be tied to another person absolutely.
Now again, don’t get me wrong, if you suddenly lose a loved one, that is absolutely heartbreaking, and of course there is going to a period of sadness.
But it is important to say that no, this is not the end of my life, it is important to just...move on. No matter whom they were, no matter what happened, no matter. Your life doesn’t suddenly end or is suddenly meaningless because they are gone.
By this reasoning...having love in your life is not success. It is wonderful, don’t get me wrong. I have many people in my life that I love to bits, and I would be absolutely devastated without them. But...know that in the end, just because you have love doesn't mean you’re successful.
You’re not any better then people who don’t have any love at all. At most, you’re lucky that they are still around. That is it. Go give them a hug for me <3.

FREEDOM

Ah, the American dream. Some people believe that success is freedom. Being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, as much a possible. This is closely tied to money as money grants freedom to a degree, but at some point this person will stop hoarding wealth and start spending, so it’s fairly different. One leads to the other, and I’d like to tackle the concept of freedom as well.
The freedom to do...pretty much whatever you’d like. Not having to go to work, maybe hanging with with your friends every day, maybe even doing crazy stuff like building giant unicorn statues all over the place(Hey, it’s what I’d do).
But freedom of itself is also short-lived. Why? Because the more freedom you have, the less meaning it has. This is a concept called “Lost in the infinite”, it is a very interesting philosophical theory, one which I greatly believe in – and if you’d like to read through it properly, you’re welcome to look it up. But I’m going to explain it very briefly.

So, let’s simplify the concept of freedom down to...pizza. Yes Pizza. Let’s say at first, you can choose one from two pizzas. Pepperoni, and Mushroom. Oh what a tough choice right? You will most likely think about it for a few minutes, and make your choose(Which totally should be mushroom).
Now, let’s up the ante, and give you a pizza MENU, with over 20 different pizzas! Oh my! Now the choice is far more difficult(It isn’t the right answer is still mushroom pizza). This time, it may take you even 10 or 20 minutes to make your choice.
Ah but we want MORE FREEDOM, let’s up the ante even MORE. Now we have to choose from 3 PIZZA SHOPS, each which has it’s own 20 pizza menu. You might start asking your friends and family on which is the best one at this point!
Lets up the ante even more, and go to 20 pizza shops! Each with their own 20 pizza menu! Now it’s a process of elimination. Cut out the ones with expensive delivery, cut out that one that was on the news last week, until you’re left down to a reasonable choice.
But you can keep pushing for more and more freedom. You can push harder and harder.
Why not choose from EVERY pizza store in the entire country? If you have the money for it, why not, those are your options.
But here is the thing where it becomes meaningless. If you have a choice between HUNDREDS of pizza stores, are you REALLY going to go through ALL of them, and make an actual choice? No.
The odds are, you will pick one completely at random, or, you’ll pick the same one that you picked when you only had to choose from two.
When one is presented with excessive freedom, it becomes meaningless. Overwhelming even. Gaining freedom for the sake of gaining freedom is...pointless, and in no way a measure for success. I can see an exception maybe you REALLY wanted to try a particular pizza shop, so you make an effort to make that one available to you(Like maybe, drive up to it instead of ordering delivery), but you still don’t need to have access to EVERY pizza shop in the country, or even the world. Seeking out freedom as much as possible may be a very cool idea on paper, but it is not success. You might need freedom, to achieve something, sure. But freedom for the sake of freedom is pointless. Freedom is not success.

Experience

This is one which I think is the most popular these days. Success is having as many different experiences as possible. Enjoying one’s life to the fullest, and ticking as many “I DID THIS THING” boxes as possible. These are things such as traveling, sports, hobbies, etc. To try and DO ALL OF THE THINGS, to MAXIMIZE life.
Now this one is going to be very brief and simple honestly. If you are doing a laundry list of different things because you enjoy them, that’s amazing of you, keep at it.
If you’re doing it for the sake of doing it just so you say you did it, that’s pretty stupid, stop it, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.
By that reasoning….just because I as a person doesn’t have a large bucket list of experiences that wants to tackle, doesn't make me unsuccessful.
By the same reasoning, just because I would literally like to play every single sport professionally at least once...doesn’t make me successful. It makes me quite a unique person sure, some would say borderline crazy(EVERY sport in the world!?), and you know, if I wanna do it, I’ll do it. But in no way does that make me any better then the person who wants to spend his life taking it easy. Both are totally valid and OK forms of life, and one is absolutely not better then the other.
So, no. Having a large amount of personal experiences does not make you successful.

GOALS

Ok so Goals or Goal. Some people have one, singular goal, and they...absolutely dedicate their entire lives to it. A good example of this anyone in the medical profession. It takes a crazy amount of dedication, and it’s almost guaranteed that you have to keep that dedication up until well, you quit the profession.
Now, again, I am going to sound awful here, but hear me out. Let’s say a medical professional has decided to absolutely nose dive into the career, become a famous top quality doctor that is unmatched. Saving thousands and millions of lives. Surely a man to be respected, and surely successful, no?
Well, I, say no. That person is not successful. Why? He has one singular goal, and has succeeded it. But I want to challenge that mentality. Is life really...one single goal? How much did this person sacrifice in order to achieve that goal?
Were the sacrifices worth it? Yes maybe millions of lives were saved, but were do you draw the line?
Take a look at it from a dark perspective. Let’s say an evil wizard comes to a country and says this. “I will kill a million of you, unless one of you steps forward to be tortured for 40 years”.
Logically speaking, it is much more ideal to send someone to be tortured for 40 years, then to kill a million people. But...is that really...fair? It is a big philosophical stalemate.
And consider this, if say someone DOES step up and agrees to the evil wizards proposal. He will be met with cheers, praises, prizes, everything, surely. But are these cheers and praises and prizes are because we think the person is better then us? Or is it because we are happy that that person is NOT us?
So, by the above logic. No. Achieving a singular goal that you’ve chosen yourself, is not success. No matter how noble said goal is. Just because you have decided to follow a goal, doesn’t make you any better then a person who decided not to have any particular goal in mind.

Conclusion

So...what do I mean by all of this? Do I think everyone’s life is meaningless and we all should just jump off the nearest cliff? No. Absolutely not. I mean, the exact and absolute opposite.
My point is this, there is no such thing as success. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you work, no matter what you achieve, no matter anything, you will never be successful, because there is no such thing.
Your life is yours, and yours alone. Sure, some people in your life may try to push you in certain directions, parents love to do this, and sure, you ARE going to have regrets. If you decide to sell all of your belongings and join the circus, only to realize after your intense clown-training that circuses aren’t that really big of a thing anymore, it may be a bit of a silly mistake. But, it doens’t mean you’ve “thrown your life away”. Doctors have regrets too, Billionaires have regrets too. It is simply a chapter in your life, and you just need to look on what you’re going to do about it, and what you’re going to do next.
So don’t limit yourself by trying to be successful. Don’t seek success, seek, whatever it is you want to seek. It doesn’t have to be a grand thing. Seek comfort, Seek pleasure, and avoid pain. Appreciate the little things in your life, such as the food you eat, the hobbies you enjoy, the experiences you have(No matter how many if at all).
The small things that happen in your day to day life are far, far, far, far FAR more important then any grand plan you have in your mind. I don’t mean you shouldn’t try to achieve grand goals, don’t get me wrong, do what you feel is best for you. Just..when it comes to large plans and goals, life likes to fuck with us. In the end, there is a very big degree of luck in pretty much every goal you try to achieve, and it’s impossible to control the future. So do what you must, do what you can, do what you’re willing, but beyond that point, let the dice land where they may, as it is out of your control.

Thank you for reading. I know this is a very...odd view on life and goals, and I absolutely understand if you disagree with everything I’ve said. I still appriciate you taking the time to read my words, so still, thank you.