Both knowing and not knowing make me anxious
I have a lot of anxiety that comes from my son. I mean, he's great, but I have a lot of anxiety about how he's feeling. I know he's had low points, and usually I know when he's having those low points. And for the most part he tells me. And when he's struggling, I have a ton of anxiety. And then when I think things are good, but hear him quietly talking on the phone to a friend, I have a ton of anxiety because I'm wondering if things are bad and he's just not telling me.
It's like I can't find a middle ground where I can be okay. I get scared when he's low, I get scared when I think he's low. And I guess all of the anxiety comes in when I realize I can't do anything about it. We can talk, but I can't make him feel better. I can't make school better. I can't make his friends care more. I can't make a girlfriend appear, or have him invited to things, or make his grades better.
Sometimes I feel completely helpless as a mom. And that's kind of how I'm feeling right now. I guess I'm just having a low day myself.
@thoughtfulmomma
Hey there ! Wow youve chosen your username very wisely, from all youre telling, you sound very thoughtful and caring towards your son and its really heartwarming to see that.
Im sorry though to hear that youre having a low day, and I totally understand that worrying about your son makes you feel anxious. Its hard knowing when the people you care about are having a tough time, and also hard not knowing and wondering if theyre hiding it. Im not a mother, Im actually on the other side, Im a daughter. And from my side, what I wanted to say is that yes you cant improve things at school for your son, you cant make his grades better, you cant make a girlfriend appear for him, because all these things dont depend on you, but there is one important thing that you can do (well, keep doing, because it seems like youre doing it already!) and that is to be there for him for when he wants to tell you about how hes feeling. Having someone who cares, who is there to really listen, to support you, having a safe place like that to say how youre feeling, its very important and it can be of huge help to fight for the rest.
I hope you can feel better about all that, take care!
~ Waves