Codependency worsening anxiety and depression
Im tired of my mom dumping things onto me. My body literally cant take it anymore. I feel so nauseous and weak. Her issues are draining me. Every time she goes through something she comes straight to me in tears. Expects me to validate her feelings ( tell her what she's feeling is natural, understandable and that it's okay to feel this way), give her some perspective, and help her solve every problem. But once her initial reaction is gone she doesnt follow through with a solution. And every time I feel my anxiety get worse and worse. She goes off feeling better while Im her emotional dumping ground. Shes a single parent, so I feel like if I dont help her shell fail as a mother with my other siblings. And mental illness runs in our family so Im afraid of her going down that route if she's too stressed out.
Ive been dealing with codependency and being a parentified child since I was a little girl. We've had many conversations about codependency and setting boundaries. But I feel like I have to keep repeating myself and when I do it too much she overreacts. Now that Im in my 20s its really taking a toll on me. I've known for years that I need to let go but I don't know how to leave my siblings behind knowing she can't handle it. I'm burnt out and need help with what I should do next. Any suggestions?
@HiddenGates
This sounds very hard, and I can relate. My mother does the same thing and more. She really doesn't realise how much I've done for her. Listening to her problems for years. But if I talk about mine, she makes me feel less, or like I'm being stupid. I understand that it is hard because you do not want to leave her, but eventually you have to. I feel that way about my mother too (and father). But I know that I've repeated myself many times for her to get the message and she doesn't want to understand.
I came to terms a while ago that I just have to stop trying to teach her what she's doing wrong, trusting her, and trying to help her move forward. You'll have to do the same. You will fall back at times, but eventually you'll have to put your foot down. I limit the things I say to my mother now, because she uses it against me later. I slip, and tell her things, but it's a working progress.
I hope you figure out how to create boundries for yourself. This is hurting you, and although she is your mother, this kind of emotional distress has to stop in your life.
