Everything is okay

It always starts with me feeling sad and then it starts turning into a little fear and then into more fear and worry feeling like I have to escape but I can't, I can't breath, idk if I'm cry because I'm alone, scared, too worried, or I'm just finally exhausted of living under constant worry. My father and brother are at ease going about their alcohol addiction while I worry, and watch them hearing them. Things get out of hand a few times but it still gets to me when everything is okay.... even when they are not drunk, but I also feel alone but I know they're on the other sides of the walls but I'm alone overall
I worry my mom will come home and have to deal with my brother I'm worried for no reason, everything is fine at this point, but I'm still scared and worried and I'm alone going through this. I know my mom wouldn't understand as she just ignored or completely forgot what I have told her. I'm alone.