Fear for the future makes it hard to work now.
I worry very much about the future of my country, enough so that I've made a bug out bag and have a rough plan for fleeing it. I also worry for the future of this planet, how we could be looking at mass extinction or at least mass migration in a matter of decades, and I worry about the possibility of global war breaking out, as it looks like a small but real possibility in the near future.
Worrying about all this gave me some kind of panic/anxiety attack yesterday, not unlike ones I've had in the past save that it lasted for hours and none of my usual coping methods got me straight. What's worse it happened at work, which made me very unproductive for a couple hours before I eventually just went home instead of stealing company time. This worry feeds on myself, I worry it'll happen again at work as my job in itself is quite stressful. Obviously if this becomes frequent at work I'll lose my job, which wouldn't be the end of the world except I'm sure I'd feel like even more of a failure then I do now for not being able to keep things together. Like, all I do, practically my only real stressor in life, is a 9-5 job, in a very well off country, I know objectively 80% of the people on this planet have it so much worse then me yet here I am burning out on just this.
I know objectively most of my worries aren't worth obsessing over, I also know this sort of illness runs in my family. I actually just saw a doctor today and he gave me some happy pills, but they're supposed to take weeks before they really kick in. Though I do have a second bottle of pills to take if I feel another attack coming on, and that in itself, knowing I have them, is an enourmous comfort.
@Zazaq I hear you on that one.
The world is in a terrible state at the moment, and I too fear that catastrophy might strike at any moment. It makes it really difficult to continue living your life and work as if nothing was wrong.
I remember back in 2016 during the presidential elections that I was so worried about the world that I failed a test in school because I couldn't concentrate on writing properly. Now I'm out of school and working a job as well and I feel the same worries as you while I try to keep a smile for the customers, with the current news always echoing in the back of my head.
We often have no choice but to bottle up those worries for the sake of work or family, and it can most certainly lead to anxiety attacks such as the one you experienced, because what's going on in the world right now is a lot, and it's impossible to just ignore.
The best advice I can give you is to try to stop feeling guilty fot things you can't change. You can't stop war, epidemics, natural disaster or safe the climate as a single person, even in a developed country. The focus of your life right now should very much be your own happiness. When you're existing in such a dreary hopless seeming world, it is most important to do the things you love, to spend time with people you love and to live your best life with whatever you have.
Best of luck to you, and remember you're never alone in this ❤️
@Zazaq Your worries are valid and looking at the world around does bring anxiety. Wars, global warming, just to name a few are very prevalent. And worrying is not bad, it shows you care. But perhaps what has helped me is realize this world will ever be perfect and it's idealistic of us to want it to be otherwise, and it's not easy to accept the cruelties or unfairness of this world but acceptance does not mean we have to do nothing. Let yourself worry, but also realize you can take small changes to help this world. If you're worried about mass extinction, do research about what you can do to be more environmentally friendly in living or support causes that are trying to prevent it. Your feelings and thoughts are valid and you don't need to push them away, meditation helps a lot with this. Simply accept your feelings and thoughts but you do not have to chase them. It's always easier said than done and it takes time. You do not have to ignore the issues around the world, you also do not have to change the world, you just need to take small actions for yourself and the world around.
